The Ultimate Failure

It was just another night at the club with my girls. We were dancing, drinking and as the night went on, we made a beeline for the dance floor.

I hate the dance floor. It’s crowded and you can’t see further than 2 faces in front of you. The podium, where you have a bird’s eye view of the entire dance floor was the way to go.

pole dancer1

Dragging my girls up, I spotted him at the corner of the dance floor alone. He was looking at me with pure intensity and he was gorgeous!

There were a bunch of decent looking Italians near him and our guy friends came up to us, cheering every now and then. Not sure why they did that when they usually could not give a rats ass about what we were up to at the dance floor.

I’d exchange glances with him every now and then, but his eyes never left me. Two songs in, my girls wanted to take a break and we headed back to the table.

I kinda forgot about him or something but he pulled me back to the dance floor.

We danced. We grind.

Me: What is your name?
Him: Finnigan.
Me: Whaaaatt?? We matched on Tinder today! Show me your phone!

Origin: Portugal
Ethnicity: Portuguese
Height: 6″1. Lean
First impression: Drop dead gorgeous
Age: 2 years younger

It was true then! Earlier in the night I was raving to Christy that I matched with this uber hot dude on Tinder. I was going on and on about how he was so gorgeous that there was no way those were his real photos.

And there he was looking right into my eyes, holding me close right in the middle of the dance floor. I was ecstatic!


Eventually, I had to go back to my friends and I brought Finnigan with me. We chatted, exchanged Facebook, took photos, made out a whole lot.

Him: You’re a great kisser you know that?
Me: I’m sure every girl is a great kisser.
Him: No, but with you, I feel a connection.. Come back with me.
Me: No. I don’t want to..

But when it was time to leave, my fucktarded drunk brains decided I should run away from Finnigan.


I literally stood up, told Christy, “Just drag me away!” and darted off the opposite direction!

What in the fucking hell hole was wrong with me?!! The dude was gorgeous, but I guess my libido was asleep. Sigh.

I woke up to my friend sending me our photos from the night and telling me how “I couldn’t believe it when you ran away from him. I think he heard what you told us” and a Tinder text from Finnigan saying, “You ran away from me *thumbs down emoticon*”.

Just great.

I studied the photos, and mannnn he was drop dead gorgeous. There was a pic of me sitting on him, one of him kissing me on the cheek, and one of us kissing.

I decided to stalk his Facebook. It says that he was an actor and with the many modelling shots he was tagged in, I decided to Google him up and..

F MY FCKING LIFE! Finnagan was a model and acted in the local series where he came from. There were pages after pages of his interviews on Youtube, and even a scene that was possibly from one of his series that was a soft porn.

I could have F-ed an actor and a possible porn star? I have never felt a bigger failure than this. Who doesn’t want to F a porn star?



I texted him;

Me: *sends our photos* Looking good!
Him: Ohh yeahhh. But you ran away.
Me: In Thailand already?
Him: Yup. In Phuket now.
Me: Ever coming back to KL?
Him: Maybe before I die. Yesterday you didn’t want nothing with me. So..
Me: You can blame my drunk brains for that.

Oh wells. I showed the pictures to my other girl friends who weren’t there that night and they all had the same thought; Go kill yourself!

It’s been 5 days since and I still feel angry with myself when ever I think about it. Doubt this would be an easy incident to forget!


VERDICT: If I could ever top this failure, I’d have to be running away from Ian Somerhalder or Nick Bateman.. Or some kinda Hollywood star.