The Male Dumb Blonde

I was going through an almost two month dry spell and was beginning to question if there was anything wrong with me after my two encounters with the Italians that did not end with a happy ending. I blame my fascination with Tinder. All chatting and no meeting turns you into Sahara!

It even came to a point where I made a bet with Lucca on who was gonna get laid first.


Seth, my previous F-Buddy texted me at 12.30am regarding work and I was dead beat bored (Read about Seth HERE).

As tired as I was, I wanted to hunt.. and if all else failed, I could attempt to seduce Seth. Yeah, beggars can’t be choosers. Then again, it’s not that much of begging with that level of hunky-ness and knowing for a fact that satisfaction is guaranteed!

The night before was a disaster. I found a hot Syrian guy, with a solid toned body on the dance floor. We made out a little.. no fireworks. Big boohoo! Went back to my friends.

Me: What are you doing? I’m bored! Let’s go for some beers.
Seth: Really? I’m so tired. Come pick me up.

We went to my usual hang out cum hunting joint, a local club where foreigners frequented with many rooms that played different music. The place was packed filled with hot young things. Seth was in heaven. But not a single hot guy was in sight. I began turning grumpier as the minutes ticked.

Seth: Look at that ass! I’m gonna bang that tonight! *smirks*
Me: If I continue hanging out with you, I’m gonna turn lesbian. I wish there were half the amount of hot men in here as there are hot chics!
Seth: With your taste, you need to go to the gym, not a club!

To summarize it, I was bored. Seth was keeping me entertained but I wanted some fresh meat. We went out to the lounge, found my friends.. and that’s when I saw him seated with a girl.

Me: OMG OMG! He’s so hot!!
Seth: Him? *waves at the guy*
Me: OMG you know him? He’s Persian too?
Seth: Yeah he is. We were sleeping with the same girl at one point of time and that’s how I met him. I don’t remember his name though.
Me: Owh.. He looks European. Is that his girlfriend?
Seth: Nawww.. He’s just like me.

The night was getting better after all!

Silhouette of people dancing at a disco. Image shot 2008. Exact date unknown.

We went back into the club and did not see him for a long time. The table we were at had more than 20 bottles of champagne but there was still nothing I fancied.

I gave up my hunt and started plotting ways to seduce Seth who was pretty much still right by my side the entire time. I was surprised he did not leave me to chat up the many hot young things around us.

Then the hot guy came around for a chat with Seth. I did a quick head-to-toe scan of the both of them. He had biceps way larger than Seth, a little shorter but definitely bigger in every other way.

He was about to leave when I smacked Seth hard on the ass.

Seth: Meet my friend, Tessa!
Guy: Oh hey! I’m Pier *shakes my hand*

Name: PIER
Origin: Tehran, Iran
Ethnicity: Persian
Height: 6″. Buffed
First impression: He is HUGE! Bad ass gorgeous with a large tattoo on his arm
Age: My age

As we started talking, I noticed Seth was immediately out of sight. I scanned the room and noticed him chatting up some girls. I thought to myself, “Aww how sweet, he stayed with me till I found some entertainment!”.

I found out that Pier had been in KL for the past four years doing his Masters and was a part time model. Seth hangs out with a bunch of really good looking Persians. I was at one point eyeing on a well known Persian model friend of his. I met the guy twice but only through his cousin (a close friend of Seth’s) who insisted that I introduced a girl or he would not let me get to him. I ain’t no pimp, baby!

After some small talks and dancing, we got closer. He didn’t dance much, or more like he did not have the moves. He was pretty much a straight forward guy with no humor. All in all, he was all looks, no charms.

Him: Let’s go somewhere else. I have tequila at my place.
Me: *laughs* No way. You don’t want to give me tequila.
Him: Now I want to even more!
Me: Hand me the tequila and I’ll jump on you, then puke in your face!
Him: Beers then!
Me: You need to give me a better reason.


He kissed me.

He was a good kisser and for the rest of the night, we were pretty much flirting and making out.

When Pier went to the washroom, I went to Seth. He was getting pretty intoxicated and started smacking my ass while dancing.

Me: Hey stop that! Your friend will be back soon!
Seth: Where is he? Let’s go, I’m getting drunk.
Me: Washroom. If he doesn’t come back, we’ll go home. You taking anyone home?
Seth: I got 2 girls numbers but not tonight I guess.
Me: Your friend is so HOT! *squeezes his biceps* You know what I always say bout huge biceps!
Seth: Go for it!

When we finally decided to leave, we found Seth on the way back from the dance floor with a girl.

Me: Let’s go! Are you taking her home?
Seth: No. Another girl.. wait, I’ll go get her.
Me: Make it quick, I’m tired!
Seth: *returns from the crowd* She’ll be driving over, let’s go!


With Pier at the back seat sitting in silence and Seth driving us back, I was laughing and singing and chatting with Seth about everything and anything the entire journey.

I realized how much I wished I was following Seth home instead of that male version of a dumb blonde. If only I had not bothered with Pier. I had a pang of jealousy that some chic was gonna get that fabulous drunk animalistic sex that night and it wasn’t gonna be me.

Seth dropped himself off;

Me: Good night darling, you have fun!
Seth: I definitely will baby! You too! *winks*
Me: Love ya, byebye!!

Yes, I love Seth, not in that romantic way.

Back at Pier’s place, I ran to the washroom as soon as I got in and when I came out,

Me: So where’s the beers?
Pier: What beers? Why do we need beers?

He carried me to the couch where we made out before heading into the room. When he took his top off, WOW! He was definitely a sight for sore eyes! He had an extremely huge package too!

Pretty much sums up his body (including the chicken legs!)

But when he fumbled with removing my bra and struggled to put on a condom for a good amount of time, I was rolling my eyes in my head thinking of how bad the sex was gonna be.  It hurt big time for at least a minute, and truth be told, I think I enjoyed the view of him more than the sex itself.

It was alright, nothing mind blowing. But seriously, all that looks and no experience to go with it?

One could say the guy might be bored and wanted to get the sex over and done with. That could explain the lack of performance. But no one could possibly fake (or think of faking) the inability to remove a bra or putting on a condom effectively. Some things comes naturally with practice.

I left after a cigarette, glad that the dry spell was finally over.

My sexuality has been reaffirmed and by an extremely hot stud. As much as he had a personality of a log, I might just turn him into a F-Buddy for his good looks and rainy days, a.k.a The Dry Spell.

VERDICT: I have long admired the looks of Persian men. Their beautiful features, gorgeous body and extremely well endowed package. As Seth always told me, “Once you go Persian, there’s no other version!“. I’m think I’m beginning to believe it!