A 3 month long Sahara Season was just too much. I decided to not just hang out with my friends at the club but to go out and hunt again. I mean, how else was one to get lucky? No guy would even notice you if you were hidden at a corner drinking your brains out!
Yeah sure there is Tinder. But the thing with Tinder is, it’s time consuming. Speaking of which, I was hanging out with Christy earlier and I decided, “Let’s tour the world and meet single eligible hot men.. through Tinder!” I mean if we can’t afford to go places, at least Tinder gives us the opportunity to browse their local delights, yes? NO!
As soon as I paid that MYR 9+, Tinder totally crashed on me and ALL 720+ matches that I have cultivated over the past 2 years were GONE! I totally freaked out and tried to log in with Christy’s phone.. and ALL her 700+ matches disappeared too!
No, I did not delete our accounts. Everything simply vanished! Fingers crossed it’s just a glitch and them 720 hotties would eventually reappear.
So yeah, last night I was totally checking out this buffed up blonde dude at the dance floor. It was easy to spot him as he was by far the tallest amongst the crowd. I was as usual pretty tipsy, but not enough to jump at a random dude.
As the awesome wing woman Christy has always been, she looked right at him and told him to get his ass over to us and threw me right at him.
Height: 6 foot. Tall and buffed
First impression: Bad ass
Age: 2 years younger
We danced. We made small conversations. Took a couple of photos. Made out.
Within the hour, Peter wanted us to leave.
That was totally cool. Except.. It was the time of the month. AGAIN!!
It really is starting to get on my nerves and my highly intoxicated brain somehow managed to come up with this brilliant idea of not telling him and throwing the pad away before we left the club.
How I managed to convince myself that it was fine to pretend I’m not on my period on the third day really beats me. I usually tell them the truth and if they were cool with it, we’d do the deed. Else, them boys gotta wait!
So we made our way back to his place, ran to the toilet to clean up. Crossed my fingers that everything was gonna be alright.
9 out of 10 random hook ups, the guys would never go down on you. Peter was that 1 out of 10! Who am I to say no to a guy who wants to please you, right?
We F-ed for a good hour and he was pretty good. But I learnt that the term German Sausage does not hold true to every German man.
When we were done, I tore the condom off him and ran off to the toilet in hopes if diminishing all trails of blood if any. I was totally relieved that my side of the bed was perfectly fine.
We F-ed again before knocking out for the night and when we woke up a couple of hours later, Peter wanted to F again. He was a cuddler too, kinda cute! I mean, cuddling with a one nighter? Sure, I could do that!
So yeah, we F-ed a total of 3 times and by the time we woke up at noon, I was thoroughly sore. He wanted to go at it again but I was done for the day.
Peter went off to the shower while I checked the bed for signs of blood and lo and behold..
There was a HUGE stain on the duvet! Not like a drop of blood but like, you know, when blood is being smeared all over.
NOTE: White sheets!
I WAS HORRIFIED!!
I flipped the duvet over, called for an Uber and told Peter I was gonna make a move. Like, I wouldn’t be seeing the dude again (he never asked for my number and I didn’t bother with it either) and like really, what could I have done anyway?
I cannot even begin to imagine the moment he discovers the stain and remembers the many times he went down on me. He’d probably puke in his mouth!
But I guess boys should learn not to go down on drunken hook ups!
Christy: But I guess he should know right? Like he could probably taste it when he went down..
Me: Really now? Would you know what period taste like? I definitely have no clue. And I definitely DO NOT intend to find out!!
I really just hope I don’t bump into Peter ever again. After all, he is leaving for good in 3 months.
VERDICT: Note to self and all you ladies out there; No hook ups during the time of the month no matter how gorgeous the dude is unless he is absolutely fine with it.