The Solo Traveler

Noticed how I have not posted in months?

I have been bored out of my brains of the usual debauchery and decided on a life-detox.

I stopped my nightly partying. Stayed sober for 5 months and counting. It’s Sahara down south.. And I’m utterly proud of myself!

screenshot-yourspromiscuously-wordpress-com-2017-01-25-00-39-38

As a reader had commented, life (and my posts) had become repetitive and boring. When I first turned single, all I wanted was to do whatever dafuq I wanted and not answer to anybody until I finally got bored of it all. And that was exactly what I had been doing for the past 3 years.

And because it had gotten so mundane, I decided I needed a vacation.  Wanting a different scene from my usual go-to (the beach), I booked myself out to Siem Reap for four nights as I have always been fascinated by Angkor Wat.

For the longest time, I’ve been wanting to travel solo and try living in an actual dorm in a hostel.

Friends were worried bout my solo trip and how I might get mugged, get lost, or get scammed. But I was determined!

 

DAY ONE

I arrived at the hostel 5 hours before I was allowed to check-in. Chilled at the pool. Texted some friends to let them know I made it to Siam Reap alive when a dude landed on the pool’s bean bag next to me.

bean-bag-in-swiming-pool

Chatted me up with the usual traveler’s chat; where are you from? How long will you be here? Where are you going to next?

Name: NICK
Origin: London
Ethnicity: English – Welsh
Height: 6′. Normal
First impression: Cute
Age: 1 year younger

Nick had the most adorable shy smile, husky voice (from all beer, no water and too much partying), and his hair.. His hair was skinned on the sides with long extremely curly fringe. What I wouldn’t do to just reach out and touch it.

Turns out Nick was leaving that night.

So off I went to meet a friend whom Facebook notified was in Siem Reap on holiday as well. Lunch, shooting range and beers before calling it a night. I was exhausted from the travels.

Soon after I crawled into my bunk, a couple curled up in the bunk opposite me, turned on the light on their bunk and was joined by their friend.

That’s the actual view from my bunk. Yes, that’s him.

Half asleep, I checked him out. Damn, he was cute! Sharp features, nice smile..

I soon drifted off to sleep.

 

DAY TWO

Woke up, dragged myself off the bed to fill up my royal tummy and when I got back to the dorm to get some stuff, the cute dude opposite me started waving at me with both hands.

It took me awhile before I realized it was Nick! He was the cute guy sleeping opposite me.

Me: Heyyy! I thought you left?
Him: Yeah I was supposed to but I’m kinda stuck here. I’m out of money and waiting for the Western Union transfer.
Me: Well, I’m headed out for a massage. Wanna join?
Him: I’d love to, but I can’t. I’m broke. Text me when you’re back.
Me: Okay. Add me on Facebook then.

May I add Nick was seated prettyyy damn close.

By the time my massage was done (It was amazing at only $6), I was due for a Tinder date.

Met my date who turned out to be way skinnier than I thought at a fancy restaurant. Not wanting to lead the dude on, I refused to order anything and have him pay for it, or worse, not pay for it. I had not budgeted for such extravagant meals and if my ego had its way, I’d have to stinge through the rest of the trip.

pub-street

Headed down to Pub Street after dinner where I finally had meals that were more on par with my budget, a couple of beers before I asked him to leave me there for a foot massage.

As I was swiping on Tinder during my massage, a match was in Pub Street and asked to join him and a friend of his. Ahh, why not? I was already there anyway.

This, was way worse. He was as buffed as his photos but for the lack of description, he was totally unattractive to me. I realized then to never swipe right on dudes wearing shades in all their photos!

So my match totally ignored me, and left me to his friend who then informed that my match only swiped right on me because he (his friend) liked me. After a beer with his friend, I was just so done with my night. The friend tried to booty call me too!

At that point, I completely hated everything about Siem Reap. All the food I’ve ordered thus far was horrible. Everything was pricey. It was dusty and the heat was nasty. I wanted so badly to be back in KL.. and I still haven’t been to Angkor Wat yet!

Nick and I got back to the dorm right about the same time. He was about to roll a joint and asked if I wanted some. Chilled on my bunk with another dude chatting and decided to call it a night.

 

DAY THREE

Woke up and decided I needed to check out Angkor Wat. It would be ridiculous if I went all the way to Siem Reap and not visit any of its attractions.

Called up the tuk-tuk driver my friend used and arranged to go at 2pm.

angkor-wat-xlarge

So Angkor Wat, Bayon temple, bla bla bla..  Tuk tuk driver took me for the dinner I requested – MUST be extremely cheap and extremely yummy. Best meal I had the entire trip!

Got a foot massage after and the lady at the reception took me out for a hair wash. I did not pack a hair dryer and all of Siem Reap did not sell hair conditioner (Whatt??!)

I landed on the bed with close to zero energy but it was impossible to sleep.

Dorm-mates were still up and not leaving the room. A couple was most obviously fooling around when I heard someone shouting – If you’re going to F, please use the bathroom.

When the noise finally died down, the couple got to it, just 2 bunks away from me. They weren’t making any obvious noise but the bed creaking and the soft pants were unmistakable.

Soon after they were done, Nick came strolling in and sat on my bunk. I was lying down whispering to him.

Me: I finally went to Angkor today! *beams* bla bla bla.. Oh.. that bed was *shows F-ing sign with my hands*
Him: *raises eyebrow* Oh really?

Nick bent down and looked me directly in the eye, made sure he wasn’t going to get punched in the face before he dove in for a kiss.

Man, I wouldn’t say Nick was a fantastic kisser but it was so hot, we were both out of breath in record time! I suppose the whole couple F-ing 2 beds away got me all hot and bothered.

Nick got into my covers, continued making out with him groping me all over when I could hear the rest of the drunkards returning to the room.

Me: Let’s go somewhere else.
Him: The bathroom?
Me: Okay.

763384-_sy540_

It has gotta rank No.1 in my list of impromptu sex and definitely hot beyond words! Just pure raw lust! First time I F-ed in a public restroom too!

Oh and he’s huge! I just love them 8 inchers!

Nick knocked out almost immediately after a ciggie, snoring wayyy louder than usual and did not even wake up from all the commotions when the drunk young Australians returned. Long story short, fat dude tried to jump from bunk to bunk, on top and landed with his head on the metal rail. Got himself 12 stitches!

Couldn’t sleep from all the havoc they wrecked. I lived in a 30 bunk dorm and I’d imagine everyone was awake then. Sam, the dude sleeping above Nick went out and got us some food. Chilled, ate and passed out when the noise finally died down.

 

DAY FOUR

Opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was Nick waving at me and giving me the thumbs up to see if I was okay.

Got up. Had lunch with Sam.

Decided I should hang out at the pool and actually use its facilities. I had after all booked myself into a party hostel.

There were pool parties from 10am till 10pm daily. The guests will then move up to the roof bar that opened till midnight. When the bar closes, they’d move on to Pub Street together.

So pool volleyball and beers with Nick, Sam, and some Brazilian chics till my tuk tuk driver came to take me out for a massage.

pool-volleyball

As I ran into the dorm to get changed, Nick came over to me –

Him: You running in here made me think of last night.. *goes back to his bed*
Me: So you remember last night?
Him: Yeah, and it got me hard..
Me: *feels him up* Damn right. I gotta head out. This waits for me!

Unfortunately, I couldn’t afford the massage the driver brought me to so I paid him $1 and asked to be sent back to the hostel.

Much to my dismay, the dorm was crowded when I returned. I was hoping for it to be empty so I’d get some action.

Me: *gives him the F-me eyes as I walked past*
Him: Too many people in here. Tonight.

I fell asleep.

Woke up and went for my four hands massage. It was something I was totally looking forward to in Siem Reap, even more than Angkor Wat. Haven’t actually seen it elsewhere and it was phenomenal! Hands down the best massage of my life (and I believe I’ve had more massages than the average human!)

fourhands

I got back to the dorm later that night and started packing. My flight out was at 8.30am and I had to leave the hostel by 6.30am. Thought I’d have an early night when Sam came over and asked if I wanted to grab some beers. Ahh, why not I figured. Booking myself into a party hostel made no sense if I refused to drink.

Hung out at the roof bar till past midnight and totally passed out after just about 3 or 4 beers. Woke up to Nick looking directly at me at about 3am when the drunkards returned and the sunrise Angkor Wat fellas were getting ready to head out.

When the noise died down, I crawled into Nick’s bed and we made out for a bit before running off to the bathroom.

Much to my disappointment, a planned F can never quite be anywhere as exciting as an impromptu one. This time is was just a regular F that wasn’t nearly as impressive.

Got out of the bath just in time to do my final packing and checked out.

 

p03vfmdq

That was that I guess.

Solo travel, check. Stayed alive, check. Not go broke, check. Met nice people, check. Had fun, check. Got laid, check.

Would I return to Siem Reap? Most likely, when the USD isn’t so high against MYR. The A-mok dishes were yummy, the $6/hour massages ($10 for four hands) were heavenly, beers are dirt cheap at $0.50 – $1, and I absolutely adored the hostel.

Did I have fun? Most definitely. Pretty sure I’d have more fun if I wasn’t being so uptight about not drinking too much. Also, someone please remind me not to Tinder when I’m living in a bloody hostel swarmed with hunks!

Unlike JOHN who was all boyfriend-like the entire trip, Nick was more of a F-Bud. Who knew you’d find F-Buds on a vacation? Never heard from him since but not like that matters. There were more interactions between Nick and I than I cared to write about. Smokes and conversations about life at the stairway and dorm aren’t particularly blog material.

And as much as this is yet another boy meet girl post, there really aren’t many ways to describe meeting a dude, F-ing, then parting ways.

Even after one too many romance novels, it’s all the same; boy meets girl – boy insists on a no string attach relationship – someone falls in love – one pisses the other off – breaks up – make up – get married *roll eyes*

 

VERDICT: Ladies, if you’ve never traveled solo, I’d highly recommend it. Words cannot describe how exhilarating it is!

The Vampire

Like all girls, I am a big fan of vampire fictions. From Resident Evil, Queen of the Damn to True Blood, Vampire Diaries and The Originals. Who wouldn’t want to F a real life vampire with super speed?

Or to be a vampire. Imagine immortality and being able to hypnotize and kill as and when you wish. Or maybe turn your true love into a vampire and live for all eternity? No? Doesn’t appeal to you?

halloween-43

So anyways, as we all know, it was Halloween over the weekend.

I did not plan to get laid. All I wanted to was to have fun with my friends, get drunk and go home for a good night’s sleep. Which also meant I did not hunt.

Towards the end of the night however, I walked past a guy dressed as Dracula with the whole Dracula cape and black eyes. The first thing I noticed were his eyes. They were pure black! We stared at each other for a good moment before he turned around and said hi to me.

Me: I love your eyes! Let’s take a photo!
Him: Sure!
*takes photos*
Me: It’s awesome! Gimme your contact and I’ll send them to you.
Him: *keys in his contact*

Yup. Eyes like that!

Yup. Eyes like that!

Bingo!

Name: CHRIS
Origin: England
Ethnicity: English
Height: 6″2
First impression: Black eyed VAMPIRE!
Age: 2 years younger

Other than being a vampire, Chris was super cute with a baby face and a little bit of a belly. He was pretty sweet, so I figured I could probably let the belly slide. He joined my friends and I for what’s left of the night till the club closed.

I really did want to leave with my friends but they were headed for an after party and I had work the next day. I decided to follow Chris instead.

On the way back in the cab however, I started feeling him up.

Uh oh.. There’s not just a little bit of belly. There were alot of belly!

Me: I’m really, really, really hungry. Could you please make me some instant noodles when we get back?
Him: Sure.

The first thing I did as I ran into his house was to the toilet. When I came out, he was already in the kitchen whipping up my noodles.

I had a bite or two of the noodles when he came into the room topless and I felt outright cheated! Underneath the whole black vampy costume with a shitload of cloth was a rather fat dude!! How could it be that he had such a slim face?!

I mean, there are 2 kinds of fat. The huge big round belly and the ones who grows sideways.

Chris was the latter.

I stared at my food through the conversation, unwilling to look at the belly and told myself, ‘He is a sweet guy, he’s cute, don’t be such a F-ing dick!

I decided to get on with it to get it over with. I took another bite, turned off the lights and pushed him on the bed.

Well, I am a very visual person and usually insist the lights be left on as I loved the view of my catches. But there was no way I wouldn’t turn dry if I saw anymore of him.

I feel bad for men who has a huge D but have no experience with what to do with it. He had the size that would have me screaming in ecstasy, but he was boring. I thought I’d be able to ignore the fat fact and closed my eyes trying to imagine he was someone else.. anybody else!

But for F’s sake, it didn’t work! I love grabbing their arms when they are on top of me and with Chris, all I felt were flabbiness. No muscles whatsoever!

I continued letting Chris F me with no enthusiasm to reciprocate his lust. Eventually he lost his erection. Yay!

Me: You’re done. I’m gonna have a smoke and go home after.
Him: Why do you need to go home?
Me: Because I have work and I need sleep.
Him: You can sleep here..
Me: Sorry baby, I can’t sleep on any bed other than my own. I’m really tired and I really need rest.

Amazingly he got his erection back after I was done smoking but I was all, “No more sex, I’m done!” and called an Uber home.

 

I know I’m an ass. But I truly believe asshole or not, men need to earn their one nighters. Not by paying for a F or to shower us with gifts or lavish meals/drinks, but to at least take care of their body and look good for their women.

Them men choose who they take home too so why should we lower our standards enough to F them if they weren’t in at least reasonable shape?

Don’t get me wrong, I like looking at washboard abs but I’m fine as long as they don’t have a tummy. Flat and hard. That is the bare minimum.

You don’t get to tell me to look into the mirror too. I take good care of my body and I totally expect my F’s to do the same. Yes, I do have some abs.

Unless of course if you are into flabbiness then by all means, please do disregard my comment.

25cbca6ebfc1adde3591d308b742126f

 

VERDICT: This is the first time in two years that I did not feel up my catch beforehand. Always, always check your merchandise before purchasing. Or maybe just stay clear of vampires. Had Chris been in his regular shirt and jeans, I’d have spotted the flabs from a mile away. Next Halloween, I’ll be looking out for the Spartan/Hercules dudes.

The Epic Switch

Friday night was a mess.

After one too many whiskeys, I was incredibly mad at Aaron who bailed on meeting me at our usual joint.

Me: Where are you?!
Him: I can’t come I’m wasted! *sends image of blowjobs shots*
Me: You were wasted two hours ago. COME!
Him: My brother is driving and he is sending me home.
Me: Tell him that if he doesn’t turn up, I’ll never bring you guys in for free again.
Him: Really? Fine!

I was furious. Read about Aaron HERE and HERE.

After a couple more champagnes, I was drunk dancing on the sofa when I saw Phil talking to a guy. I immediately jumped in front of them.

Name: BUCK
Origin: Austria
Ethnicity: Austrian
Height: 6″. Buff
First impression: BICEPS!
Age: 8 years younger

Phil introduced us and we hit it off immediately. When I say hit it off, what I really meant was that we danced and made out and made small meaningless talks.

By 5am, I left with Buck.

When we got into the cab, Buck’s friend entered with us and I was immediately drawn to his accent before I even got a glimpse of his face.

Me: Where are you from? I love your accent!
Him: Why does it matter where I’m from. All that matters is where Buck is from!

Name: GLENN
Origin: London
Ethnicity: English
Height: 5″10. Lean
First impression: Asshole
Age: 4 years younger

We headed to their friend’s place for more drinks.

Glenn was a talking machine. He talks without the need to breathe and his accent just killed me.

Me: *asks random question about him*
Glenn: You don’t need to know anything about me. I’m a myth. You won’t know I exist when we leave this place.

Glenn is the biggest asshole I have ever met. Self absorbed, cocky, sarcastic, insulting.. but he was also very charismatic, charming, funny and flirty. Need I remind you that I’m absolutely drawn to self centered assholes? Personality aside, Glenn was pretty good looking with killer abs!

I was cuddled up on the sofa with Buck but after an hour I decided I was in love with Glenn and got my ass off Buck.

For the rest of the morning, I sat on the single seater opposite Glenn watching him talk, occasionally throwing insults back at him while eye F-ing him the entire time.

I was literally giving him the come F me eyes and he knew it. His insults were getting more sexual as time went on and his eyes never left mine.

Me: Don’t you need to breathe in between talking? You’re so F-ing noisy!
Glenn: Baby, I’m a Demigod. Don’t pretend you’re not turned on by my accent.
Me: Geezzz.. You’re the biggest asshole I have ever met!
Glenn: And you know you like it *stares at me with pure intensity*

Every time Buck tried to cuddle up near me, I’d jump straight up to light a cigarette, get more beers or be seated elsewhere.

As I snatched the pillow off Glenn, he retaliated but went all, “You’re so blardy annoying, you’re lucky I have a soft spot for you.”

Eventually I decided to stop being a pussy and make an actual move on Glenn after all the eye F-ing. It was not his place to make a move on his buddy’s girl anyways. I was pretty damn sure the attraction/feeling/lust was mutual!

After a whole lot more insulting flirts, I planted myself next to him on the sofa. Just then, a girlfriend of mine texted and I replied her with, ‘I came back with a guy but I so wanna F his friend. That English accent is too sexy!’

unnamed

And I did the bravest thing ever!

Me: Dude, check this out! *shows him my reply to my girlfriend*
Glenn: Wait, what? I can’t see.. Ahh..
Me: *shows him my dialpad for his number*
Glenn: I can’t remember my number *passes me his phone to call my own*

Glenn immediately texted me on Whatsapp;

Him: Yo! What’s happening?
Me: You tell me
Him: I’m gonna F you today
Me: You sure that’s a good idea?
Him: Yes
Me: Your friend would be pissed
Him: Tell him
Me: No way!

Glenn and I continued to text while we sat next to or opposite one another. One of their friends noticed the weirdness going on and I overheard him asking Glenn why was he being such a prick to Buck. It was pretty damn hilarious!

By 9am, Buck tried his luck with me on the single seater again..

Glenn: Get your ass off that woman, she’s mine!
Buck: Right, thanks for stating the obvious mate!

Glenn, Buck and I left for Glenn’s place at about 9.30am but got stuck outside for the longest time while the management tore down his gate and the boys kicked the door open cause Glenn lost his keys.

When we finally got in, Buck pretty much tried everything he could to seduce me. Spanking my ass while I cooked eggs, taking off his shirt, flexing his muscles..

Eventually I figured that at the rate things were going, there was no way I was going to get laid and decided to make a move to meet Christy for lunch.

After alot of arguing about me leaving, we agreed that I would come back after lunch and Glenn gave me MYR50 to bring back some beers.

Glenn texted as soon as I left;

Him: Why do you have to go meet your friend?
Me: Cause she just broke up and slept with a stranger. She don’t usually sleep around but she did today and she feels like crap about it. I already left her last night, I can’t leave her alone now!
Him: Ok, promise you’ll come back!
Me: Yes I will. I’d prefer if you send Buck home though.
Him: I will

Long story short, after lunch at about 3pm I begged Christy to send me back to Glenn’s, was too tired to even move (I had been drinking from 12am till 9.30am and haven’t had a wink of sleep) and we talked for 2 hours till his friend came over and I left for home at 6pm. And yes, Glenn told Buck to go home to get some rest.

While waiting for my ride at the lobby, I texted Todd;

Me: What you up to tonight?
Todd: Nothing. What do you have in mind?
Me: More like where do you have in mind..

But we’ll leave that for another post 🙂

Although I did not F either one of the boys, I had an epic night. This would definitely be something I’d remember for the rest of my life.

I do wonder what would have happened if I didn’t leave for lunch. Would I have had a threesome? Would Glenn have been an awesome F?

Yes, I was an absolute asshole. Slut.. asshole, whatever. Same difference!

 

VERDICT: Everytime girls go ‘OMG his French accent is so sexy!‘, I’d wonder how could an accent be sexy when you could hardly understand a word that’s coming out of their mouths. Turns out I’m totally into the English accent!