The Artist: Part II – The BF-Experience

Some guy friends of mine used to say that there are some girls (and hookers) who gives them the GFE and I would never be one of them. The GirlFriend Experience.

My story today is of a guy who gave me the BFE!

But first, you have gotta read about the roller coaster ride of a chase with Aiden HERE.

Aiden is a singer, actor, song writer, producer and a well known local DJ who spins at a popular club in town. Good looks, charms and a whole lot of energy. When he walks into the club, it’s almost like he’s got the vibe of a superstar that he carries with him.

After all the drama that took place, Aiden finally broke up with his girlfriend and moved out.

Over the last month or so, I’d bump into him at my usual joint every weekend and he would attempt to kiss me, telling me how he has already broken up with girlfie and has found a new place. “I don’t believe you. Tell that to me again when you have actually moved out“.

My friends are totally against my obsession and/or fascination with Aiden. Mainly because he is an asshole and we are all acquainted to his girlfriend. They defended me when people started talking of our scandal and I did not want to disappoint them.

In order to actually make out with him at the club, I had to do it discreetly. It was so much fun because it actually felt like I was cheating on my friends with him! Yes, FML I just had to find a way to cheat in order to feel some excitement.

Him: *corners me to the wall and kisses me*
Me: No, please no.. Phil is around!
Him: Why are you so afraid to be seen with me?
Me: Because they will kill me!
Him: I’ll tell them to F off! Why can’t they give our love a chance to grow?
Me: Love? *laughs hard!* Do you mean lust?

Aiden had his way with words. As much as I do not believe a word he says, I was very much attracted to his charms and charisma.

Eventually, he really did move out. It was all over his Facebook.

I immediately texted Jenna; He moved out!! And soon enough a new F-Buddy will be born!!

A couple of days later I was about to head to the club on a Wednesday night when I saw Aiden online on Facebook. I messaged him.

Me: Coming to *insert club name*?
Him: No. I’m whacked. In bed already.
Me: Lousy!
Him: How about lunch tomorrow?

I was having lunch with Jenna the next day. I invited Aiden but he declined and we ended up texting all day long. He invited me out for beers, swims, dinner.. I declined it all. I was exhausted from the night before and needed a rest badly. What fun would it be if I attempted to pounce on a guy feeling like a zombie?

After a good nap, by 11.30pm, we agreed to grab some beers at a darts joint near his place.

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We ordered a tower of beer and played dice while bonding over random stuff like his brand new house, work, how his biggest song release would be out soon.

Him: Do you live alone?
Me: No I live with my aunts. Parents are divorced.
Him: Wow. All the girls I’m attracted to comes from a broken family. All my ex-girlfriends too. Do you still see your parents?
Me: It’s just cause it’s really common to have divorced parents these days. And no, I haven’t seen my mum in 11 years and my dad passed away a couple years back.
Him: Awww *immediately gives me a tight hug*

Aiden kept owning my ass at Liar’s Dice. If you don’t already know what that is, read THIS. I only know of a handful of guys who beats me at the game. Only one girlfriend of mine ever beats me hands down. But anyways, we bumped into a mutual friend who then joined us. I was relieved that I did not have to sit through the night having only him to talk to.

The boys played darts while I chatted with his girl friend while pawning her at dice. Every now and then, Aiden would join our conversations while holding my hands and kissing me.

Me: If they found out I was here with you, I would never hear the end of it!
Him: Don’t worry. Nobody knows we’re here.

By 2am, I started getting hungry.

Him: You wanna buy some food back to my place and chill?
Me: *ignores and talks about other stuff*
Some time later..
Him: So do you wanna come over?
Me: *shrugs and smiles*

Obviously I went back with Aiden. It was the only reason I came out anyway. Just that I would prefer my guys to be straight forward and dominant.

Lets go back to my place” vs “Do you want to come over and *insert lame excuse*?“. I’ll take the former anytime.

“You need to tell me your life story”

Oh God. Why are you torturing me like this? I always told my friends; I rather the guys just shut up and look pretty. I have no interest in communicating other than to tell the guy to F me harder and faster.

Aiden told me a load of his life with me pretending to be interested. When he asked about mine, all I said was, “there really isn’t anything interesting about my life“, and gave him a brief uninteresting summary.

I learned the hard way that every time I share my life experience, either party would tend to take an interest in wanting more of the friendship/relationship.

He cooked us instant noodles while he continued yapping away. “You are literally the first girl I’m cooking for in this house

He didn’t have a sofa at his place so I headed straight for the washroom after food. When I came out, he kissed me and pointed at some clothes, “these are your clothes if you decide to stay“.

We cuddled for a little before making out and he actually asked, “are you comfortable with me going down on you?” OMG are you kidding me? Do you actually need to ask?

There was nothing to shout about. I love mind blowing, earth shattering sex that Aiden would never be able to provide. His whole BFE in bed just wasn’t working for me. It was mind numbing!

People-YawnWhy bother asking if I’m alright or if he was hurting me? The more pain, the more pleasurable it would be. And how could anyone make out while F-ing? I can’t possibly concentrate on feeling good down there while having to make sure I’m kissing him right!

After cleaning up and having a smoke when we were done, Aiden cuddled me to sleep. He snored like there was an orchestra right next to my ears. I tried pushing him away only to have him grab me again and again. So very suffocating!

I could not sleep at all and Aiden woke up after an hour or so. We had sex again. It did feel better this time but I needed to empty my bladder so bad that I hardly enjoyed it. I mean, I can’t just push him off and run to the washroom in hopes of resuming. Or can I?

I took a closer look at his package and realized that he is indeed pretty large for an Asian dude. If I wasn’t exposed to the XL sized foreigners, I would have loved it for sure!

.. and we cuddled to sleep. Again. Sigh. The sun was up by then and I only managed 3 hours of lousy sleep.

I woke up to Aiden touching me all over but I ignored him for as long as I could. I’m no fan of morning sex. Hell, I’m no fan of morning anything! Suddenly, he sprained his neck and all the touching came to a halt. Can you imagine my relieve?

Him: What time do you have to go?
Me: What time do you want me out?
Him: That’s quite harsh isn’t it?
Me: Are there any better words for it? How about what time do you wanna get rid of me?

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Turns out, he had someone coming over to fix the internet so I made a move. I wasn’t upset that he wanted me gone. I was annoyed by the lack of sleep!

While I was stuck in traffic on the way home, Aiden called;

Him: I felt kinda weird earlier.
Me: Why? Cause I’m not a morning person?
Him: No, just weird. Never mind.

So I texted him later on;

Me: What is weird, don’t be shy just tell me!
Him: I’m not shy. Just feel weird that we had done whatever. And I’m not at all ready for anything. You know?
Me: It’s called sex not whatever. And I’m not interested in anything at all.
Him: Oh ok, cool!

 

Guys like Aiden are the epitome of a jackass! I did not fall for his BFE behavior, but I’m pretty sure many girls would. Christy said she would for sure!

I felt outright insulted that he had to even spell it out. Do I look like I would ever want something more with him? Phil explained that it is normal for guys to say that as a prevention from having girls cling on to them after sex.

But why do guys enjoy tricking a girl into thinking that they want something more when they could just be straight forward? If the girls won’t sleep with you then it must just mean she isn’t into casual sex and should not be tricked into doing so!

He was all sorts of awkward when I saw him at the club that night. There wasn’t the usual attempt to kiss me and it just felt plain weird. Perhaps it’s cause we were both exhausted from the lack of sleep. I don’t know and I honestly can’t really be arsed.

Then again, as Christy puts it, “You’re totally the female version of a jackass“. I really like the sound of that!

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I’m glad I’m done with my obsession. I ain’t gonna be turning a BFE dude into a F-Bud fo sure! I now realize that no matter how charmed, entertained or attracted I am towards a guy, if the sex is mediocre, all fascination goes down the drain with a snap of a finger.

 

VERDICT: This whole love making, boyfriend sex does not cut it for me at all. I need to be treated like a whore in bed, not a girlfriend.

The Artist: Part I – Brainless Cheater

I love men who behave like assholes. I’m drawn to them the way flies are drawn to shit. Did I just call myself a fly?

Some 11 years back, my late dad once sat me down and gave me a long lecture;

Dad: What does a pile of shit attract?
Me: Err.. Flies?
Dad: Yes. You are the pile of shit. Now stop attracting flies!

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Seems like I can take on both roles!

Anyways, 2 weeks back, I was out partying on a Wednesday night when Aiden came in to the club rather intoxicated.

Name: AIDEN
Origin: KL
Ethnicity: Malay, Chinese and a whole lot of other random mixtures
Height: 5″9. Normal.
First impression: Party animal. He is full of life
Age: 1 year younger

Aiden is a singer, actor, song writer, producer and a well known local DJ who spins at a popular club in town. Good looks, charms and a whole lot of energy. When he walks into the club, it’s almost like he’s got the vibe of a superstar that he carries with him.

As Aiden greeted Phil and the rest of the gang, I grabbed him by the hair as an acknowledgement the way I always do.

Him: Tesssssaaaaa!! *carries me up and spins me around*

I was cold. He took his blazer off and gave it to me right before he told me how cute I was and grabbed me for a kiss.

I was in shock! Never in my lifetime I would have expected Aiden to be attracted to me. He definitely never showed it!

Me: Dude WTF was that? I know your girlfriend!
Him: No, we broke up!

I am not a fan of getting into scandals with guys who hangs out within the group of friends. Last thing I need is another girl giving me the killer stares or girlfriends hating my guts. I just much rather party in peace.

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But drunk Aiden kept coming back to me and after one too many tequila shots, I gave in and we made out all night.

Fast forward; When the night was over, we made out a whole lot in the car. I did wanna jump on him but as soon as I unzipped his pants, all I felt was disappointment. Not only did he have a whiskey dick, it was on the small side of the scale.

I decided to send him home where his now ex-girlfriend still resides.

The entire journey back, he’d hold my hands, being adorable, mind F-ing me with thoughts of how he wanted to cuddle me to sleep, that we should go out on a date some time.

The next day, he was continuously texting and calling me all day saying stuff like, “Babyyy what are you doing now?.. Why didn’t you call me for lunch?.. Call me back when you get to office aite?” but I ignored him. I really do not mind sleeping with him, but a full on fling with a clingy boy? Nah, that is just not my cup of tea.

Like, I much prefer the baby, I’ll text you when I need some action kinda thing. So after getting ignored for hours, he apologized for what happened and we agreed it would not happen again.

2 DAYS LATER

Over the weekend, I bumped into an old friend Gina whom I used to be really close to at the club. We used to party like 5 times a week back in college. Gina pretty much only hangs out at neighborhood bars these days so we kinda drifted apart. Thing with Gina is that, she is motherly. She nags bout my drunken behavior so much it is a pain in the ass!

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Gina is also really close to Aiden’s girlfriend.

Me: Babe. I want to tell you something. I’m telling you because I don’t want you to hear it from any other source and you gotta promise me you’ll never speak of it again. But promise, no lecture OK?
Gina: Yeahhh what is it?
Me: I made out with Aiden 2 days back. He came in drunk, grabbed me for a kiss and told me he broke up. I can’t help it, I gotta admit I am somewhat attracted to him.
Gina: Eww! First of all, Aiden never broke up with her. He is an asshole. He cheated on her with one of the dancers (at the club he spins at) and what do you even see in him anyway?
Me: I don’t know. Just don’t tell her.
Gina: I will tell her what happened. I just won’t mention names.

Fair enough.

But a week later, I was out watching the World Cup opening ceremony with Phil and a bunch of friends when I received a text from Aiden.

Him: How could you do this to me?
Me: Huh? What did I do?
Him: You made out with Aiden. I’m so sad. He told me everything.

As it turns out, it was girlfie texting me from his phone!

My friends told me to ignore her. They filled me in on how this isn’t the first time it has happened. Apparently, Aiden has been actively and openly cheating on her and every now and then, he’d hit a girl who just happens to be aquianted to his girlfriend and girlfie would then be confronting them.

I was pissed. How could he make out with me and report everything back to her? So I texted Aiden the next day.

Me: WTF dude? Why did you tell her everything? So not cool!
Him: What are you talking about?
Me: *sends screenshot of the text*
Him: Ignore her. She was drunk. She found out from Gina, I don’t know if she’s lying to get the truth out of me but I did admit to her after that. I’m so sorry!

I did not have the balls to tell Aiden that I was the main culprit in this. That I told Gina what happened. I was extremely disappointed with Gina. Yes, girlfie is currently a close friend of hers but so am I! We spent years hanging out both sober and drunk, went on trips and went through heart breaks together!

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2 WEEKS LATER

Aiden came into the club highly intoxicated as usual but he bolted when he saw me with this girl. She was an ex-fling of his whom his girlfriend had confronted and had been ignoring him and staying away from the club he spins at ever since.

When I got home, Aiden texted to ask how is it that I know her too.. and we started flirting.

Him: Baby, you know you can’t handle it. Imagine an ADHD guy working on you.
Me: I don’t even know why am I still replying you!
Him: Because you like me. And you know it! I wish I could call you now.
Me: Noooo I just want to sleep right now
Him: Just my voice telling you what to do with your hands. If only we met 4 years back (that is the duration he has been with his girlfriend)

I woke up to a whole pile of drunk texts and wished there was a place for me to bury my head.

It was my 2014 resolution to NOT bother with a a guy who is in a relationship. He broke it. Well, Sean broke it too but I don’t know for sure if he has a girlfriend, I was only told so. I never asked Sean, and he never mentioned it so I assume he’s single. (Read about Sean HERE)

A WEEK OR 2 LATER

At my usual club at about 4am, Aiden was at our table.

Him: *starts dancing in front of me*
Me: Where is girlfriend?
Him: You know babe, you text me when you’re drunk..
Me: Whaaaatt? No I don’t! You texted me!
Him: You texted me, don’t do that anymore.

I don’t remember what happened next. Either he walked away or Christy pulled me away from him but WTF really? You texted me and I get the blame?

To be continued HERE.

VERDICT: A guy may be popular and charming but I’ve hotter and smarter boys to deal with than idiots who reports all his cheating acts to girlfriends.

The Date From Hell

I hate going on dates.

My last 2 dates were total disasters. I was a nervous, giggly wreck and Marcel totally ignored me after that night (Read about the date with Marcel HERE). My date with Felipe was so extremely boring that I started blabbering through out dinner, he must think I’m an idiot and I honestly can’t give a flying F even if he thinks I’ve a hairy asshole (Read a little about how I met Felipe HERE).

As I told the story of how dates, particularly sitting through a dinner or multiple beers, exchanging life stories and bonding terrifies the bejeezus outta me, Christy suggested I go on a 5 date a month challenge. I hate the thought of having to converse with a guy, but Christy is right. I need to get over the fear of dates!

Tinder. The fastest way to score a hot date!

Name: JOSEPH
Origin: KL
Ethnicity: A mixture of 5 different bloodlines. I really can’t recall.
Height: 5″10. VERY normal.
First impression: Cocky bastard. He thinks he’s all that.
Age: 2 years older

Swipe, swipe, swipe.. I matched with Joseph. As it turns out, I saw him at a club once and was checking him out all night. I would have gone up to him if he wasn’t literally surrounded by girls who were all over him.

Joseph is a local celebrity. A TV presenter and a model. Explains the cockiness.

No where as hot obviously

No where as hot obviously

After some witty exchange of replies, Joseph asked me out for drinks but I declined. Two days later he invited me for beers at a local bar nearby. I agreed. Oh did I mention that Christy matched with him on Tinder too?

I’ll skip the whole process of how we greeted with a hug and crap and jump straight to the point of how all he ever spoke of was that he wanted a threesome with Christy and I. That I have a ‘come-F-me’ face AND a ‘cum-on-my-face’ face. That we should go have sex at the washroom behind.

How UN-charming! I like assholes, but Joseph is just dodgy! Even if it was a joke, it’s not funny.

Him: Do you live alone?
Me: No. I live with my aunts
Him: Then where are we gonna fuck? Sneak me in!
Me: No! We are not gonna fuck and I’ve not sneaked anyone in since high school.

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Yup, I never bring boys home unless they have been a real boyfriend for at least 6 months.

But like seriously, no seducing, no charms and you go straight to the point that you want to F me? I’m not even remotely sexually attracted to him in real life!

Then we decided to take a photo and send it to Christy who was in Perth. I pointed out that he looked chubby in photos.

Me: You look chubby here. See.. no jawline!
Him: No I don’t! I’m at my ideal weight. You still think I’m cute right?
Me: Hmmmm..

After one too many “you still think I’m cute?” and me not brushing his ego, He started being insecure. After teasing him a couple more times on his weight, he started to get pissy. Baby, you kinda asked for it! He did tell me I had a face that people wanted to cum on after all. How could calling him chubby be worse than that?

Him: I’ll forget what you say when I wake up.
Me: Naww! You’ll think of it before bed. You’ll think of it when you wake up. You’ll think of it for the rest of the week. You know how they say people look fatter on TV than in person. Do you look fat on TV?
Him: Wow! You really know how to make a guy feel like shit about himself don’t you? You really are annoying!

.. and I get the blame

Then he turned to watch the TV and ignored me. I took out my phone to find texts from my friends asking to hit the club. Reception was bad so I walked out to make some calls and of course, to whine.

When I returned to the bar, I politely asked;

Me: Are you really gonna ignore me?
Him: No, its fine.
Me: Here’s 30 bucks. Should cover my share. I’m leaving.

On the way out I joined some friends at another table for a smoke. Told them what happened and was laughing about it when Joseph decided to leave. He totally avoided walking past me and ignored my existence.

Later that night, he texted Christy to bitch about me right before he texted me;

Him: You should watch your mouth, there’s a thin line between being cocky and funny and being a true blue bitch.
Me: Mmm there’s a reason for having a come F me face. I much rather F real men than to sit around with overly metrosexual boys who can’t take a joke. True blue bitch is a compliment, thank you!

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And that wraps up date 1 of 5!

As much as I was amused by the whole dramatic event, I was pissed. I did not deserve to be called a true blue bitch for calling someone chubby! If I F-ed somebody’s boyfriend, then yes, I am a bitch. Or a slut. Or a whore. What ever rocks your boat.

When I got home at 5.30am after partying, Aiden and I started flirting over Whatsapp. Such an ego booster! Aiden too is a local celebrity; A well known local DJ and artist. I often hear his infomercials on the radio going “Hi I’m Aiden, most people know me as *insert DJ name* and…“.

Me: Do you think I’m a bitch? Slut maybe, but bitch?!
Aiden: Nope, never. I am. I am the definition.

But yeah, I made out with Aiden some weeks back but that’s another story altogether. I was about to write a post about him but I got a feeling the story has yet to come to an end (I’m not a fan of writing stories in Part 1, Part 2). Apparently he is quite an asshole himself.

As for Joseph, I really realllllyyyy expected more confidence from a celebrity. Seems like I actually shattered his ego! But hey, he should be glad I didn’t just get up and slap him across the face for being such a douchebag!

I guess it’s just that the guys I’ve been seeing/sleeping with has got egos that shoots through the roof and their confidence are impossible to bring down no matter what I say or do.

Take Seth for example; When I poked at his stomach stating he gained a little weight, he told me, “F you! I’m gonna pump it back up, I’ll show you how ripped I’ve become and then I won’t F you anymore!“, then he proceeds to F me! (Read about Seth HERE)

 

VERDICT: Even celebrities can be insecure little boys. No more overly metrosexual pretty boys for me!