The Girl Before THE One

Just 2 days back, when I was in the neighborhood, I met up with SETH for lunch just to catch up. I haven’t seen him in more than a month and the last we hung out, I totally forgotten he was out with me and abandoned him in the club.

On the way to lunch he broke the news to me;

HE IS GETTING HITCHED AND IS LEAVING THE COUNTRY FOR GOOD!

Like whaaaaattttt?!!

The love of my life, the one guy whom I have been obsessed with over the past 1.5 years is going to vanish from my life forever?

Let me make this clear; It isn’t his body and/or his ability in the sack that I was attracted to. That lasted only a mere 2 months.

I love his personality. Seth would always be there to cheer me up and hear me out. He was my constant entertainment when ever we were out together and I always have the time of my life with him. He was patient, he was kind, he was intelligent, charming and very charismatic.

Even though we only F-ed for 3 months, Seth was my emotional pillar for the past 1.5 years. I was devastated when he broke the news to me.

I am shattered.

The chic he is about to marry, she was only in KL for 3 months and they dated for a mere 2 months. When she had to leave the country, she told him that she didn’t want to be away from him even if it meant marrying him.

Which brings me to the point of this post..

THIS ISN’T THE FIRST TIME I’M THE GIRL RIGHT BEFORE THE ONE

The first time it happened was back when I was 21. I was crazy over SID. But his girlfriend was pregnant and they went on to start a new life together in another state.

Then there were my flings, HANS and XAVIER and AIDEN and WAYNE.

SCOTT, my first boyfriend married the girl right after me and is now a father of two while my other 2 ex-boyfriends, CHAD and LUKE really wants to settle down and is looking for a wife.

Not to mention my 2nd ex-boyfriend, LEO has been dating his current girl for the past 7 years. I can already hear the wedding bells.

Perhaps it’s me.

I was the reason for their transition from being the playful boys they once were to the matured men they are now.

My boyfriends were trained into the husband I aimed for and then ditched because it became boring when my work was done. The next girl just needed to pick up my ready made work of art.

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I probably freaked my flings out so badly that they scrambled off the dating pool and marries the next girl who isn’t as horrifying as I am.

F knows, AARON might just tie the knot with his blonde Russian beau in the near future!

So how do I deal with the emotional trauma of losing a love permanently?

IMAGINE HE’S DEAD

Yup. You read that right. You can’t possibly contact the dude if he’s dead. Am I right or am I right?

He has already decided to move on with life to start a family with a girl who is not you so why contact him at all?

What can you/he say or do that would possibly make things/you feel any better?

IF YOU’RE FINE BEFORE YOU MET HIM, YOU’D BE FINE WITHOUT HIM

Repeat this mantra with me.

Your life prior to his existence was peachy. He came in like a wrecking ball and became your world.

If you removed the virus from your system, how much worse can your life get?

It could only get better because the only thing that is getting in the way of your happiness (and meeting THE One) is a guy who doesn’t want you to be a part of his future.

IF HE WANTED TO BE WITH YOU, HE’D BE WITH YOU

Even if it’s all about timing, it is no excuse. Blame it on work, blame it on his financial status. But if he really did want to be with you, he would have done whatever it took to make that happen.

Maybe he was just not that into you. Ouch!

CLOSURE

As much as he should already be dead in your world, we all need closure.

Just as I wish I could still tell my late father I love him and how much I wish he was still here, I can never do that.

But you can still do it with that dude who decided to move on before you put a nail on that coffin (or sprinkle his imaginary ashes into the sea)

Do what you need to do. Don’t beg him to stay but tell him how you feel. Just don’t expect him to reciprocate your feelings.

And after all that’s said and done, smile. Be grateful that you have gotten past the era of emotional roller coaster, heartbreaks and uncertainties. The hardest part is over.

Smile because everything happens for a reason. After all, what else can you blame things on when life F’s you up, right?