Kyle: You need to settle down. Look for a husband, not a play thing. These are all temporary excitement!
Me: Why do I need a boyfriend? I’m happy the way I am.
Kyle: Don’t you want someone to go home to? Someone to talk to?
Me: When I need someone to talk to, I have you guys. When I get bored, I party. When I need sex, that’s what play things are for!
It is temporary excitement, yes.
But in all honesty, I haven’t been this happy (or at least neutral) since I turned single.
Him: What is the common failure in all your relationships?
Me: I don’t know. All the guys are different. Different problems, difference situations.
Him: You. You are the common ground in all the relationships. Have you ever considered that?
It is true. As much as I somewhat enjoy being in relationships, it brings out the worst in me. I love and give till it hurts.. and when it hurts, I stray because that is my only outlet of frustration.
It feels suffocating that I have to check in with my partner when I’m out with my buddies. I feel guilty when I arrive home at 6am after a long night of partying. Heck, even dancing with another man makes me guilty. But know what the crappiest part of it is? It gives me the excitement. It’s the forbidden fruit syndrome.
Each time I watch a chic flick and tear up on my own, I think to myself, “I think it’s time I get a boyfriend“. Next thing I know, I’m getting the VIP front seat watching Jenna have a full blown argument with her fiance and grinning to myself, “Ahhh being single is F-ing amazeballs!”
PRO: LOVEY DOVEY MOMENTS
Surely being in a relationship has its perks. Having someone to go home to. Spending the weekend rolling around in the sheets together. Preparing lunch/dinner and indulging it over an episode of Gossip Girl. Saying, “I love you” and hearing it back.
I miss the cuddles and knowing who exactly I’m going to have sex with, instead of being afraid of what my next bad drunken decision might lead me to.
What I definitely do not miss at all is the endless questions of my whereabouts and arguments on why I took that extra tequila shot over the weekend. Nope, definitely don’t miss that at all!
I’ve been in a few long term relationships, two that lasted 4 years each and came to a conclusion that maybe I’m just not fit for a relationship, just as how I ain’t fit for a desk job.
I’ve always avoided being single. I looked at being single as being pathetic. But now that I am single, I’m rather enjoying it to a point where I’m afraid I’d never be in a relationship again.
NOTE: This is the first time I’ve been single this long since I was 15.
CONS: HUNTING DOWN MR-RIGHT (OR MR-RIGHT-NOW)
Finding the perfect F-Buddy is just as hard as finding a potential mate. We singles go through numerous one night stands to find THE F-Buddy, just as how we go on countless dates in hopes of meeting THE One.
I know some girls who are like, “F-Buddies are everywhere. All they need to do is F!” But.. butttt.. I need to be attracted to the dude and enjoy the shag, no? At least for me, physical attraction and sexual chemistry is a MUST! I’m picky like that.
My taste in men have evolved to a point of high rarity. I no longer see them often in clubs (I should try the gym next!).
Going on dates are tiresome. To impress and be impressed. I personally see first dates as job interviews and I really do not enjoy being judged for my sexuality and/or intelligence. Clearly there isn’t much of the latter. I am shallow and I don’t give a flying F if anyone else thinks so. But who is he to judge when what most men want initially is to get into your pants anyway?
One night stands are just as gruesome. Bravo if you found him while you were sober and have that amazing mood and after sex glow post coitus. You know, the one where you’re singing and skipping around happily? Double bonus if he was awesome in the sack and could be turned in to a F-Bud. But the walk of shame the next day if your bad drunk decisions switch were turned on is just no where nearly as pleasant.
CONS: WANTING THE UNATTAINABLE
Isn’t it weird how we women always want the unattainable? Married men and the bad boys are way desirable than the nice guys. Nice guys finish last, remember?
Truth be told, I still want to shag my ex F-Bud, Seth (Read about Seth HERE) who is now somewhat in a relationship though is continuously cheating on her. Another great example would be my girlfriend, Christy who is obsessed with her ex-boyfriend whom she dumped.
Her: I’m so tired of F-ing around. It’s just F-ing! I want to feel something!
Me: You can get any guy you want babe! You need to teach me. Think I lost my mojo.
Her: Yeah, sure, lessons for another day. Who am I kidding? I can’t even get the one guy I want! Maybe you should teach me.
Me: Hahahaha how are we different when I am still wanting my ex F-Buddy!
Women! *rolls eyes* We are so indecisive, aren’t we?
I met Christy during a party some 6 months back when we both first turned single. You know that amazing moment when you meet someone new, get along instantly and go all, “I really don’t do this often but what is your number? We so need to party together!”
OK, I’m starting to sound like a lesbian, but I definitely love men.
Christy is gorgeous, fun, flirty, smart and if I were a guy, I’d try to get into her pants. A party animal and a lawyer who loves to hunt as much as I do.. What more can I ask for in a friend? Oh there is more, our taste in men do not collide so we know for a fact that we would not be fighting over the same guy. Men are as disposable to her as they are to me. Boy A doesn’t work out? It’s OK baby, plenty of fishes in the
seaclub. We almost F-ed the same guy? No biggie, there’s just not enough men in KL to go around.
So when Christy gets all messed up over an ex after a cocktail of drinks, it made we wonder. What do we women really want? Do we just want a man just because he has now became unreachable, do we want the bad boys because they are so unpredictable and it’s hard to make them care? Cause when the bad boys turn soft, that’s when we flee, so does that answer my own questions?
PROS: PARTY LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW
But anyways, being single also entitles you to unlimited Girls Night Out. You know, those nights where you have to promise boyfie that you’d behave? Good news is that when you’re single, you get to not behave and every night is a Girls Night Out.
No one is going to judge because you are in your own right, single. Maybe there are, but those who matter don’t judge and those who judge don’t matter!
Flirt, it’s fun! Do what ever makes you laugh.
Over the weekend, Christy and I were in the club. We were openly checking out a dude with huge biceps when a guy behind us chatted us up. We looked at him and went, “Do we know you?… Ooohh there’s biceps here too!” and started feeling up his arms, chest and abs before we ran off to the dance floor without so much as a good bye or getting his name. I cannot imagine what must have went through his mind. Possibly, “All these work out is really paying off!” or “Man this chicks are weird!“.
Girls should thank the Lord we weren’t made with a ding dong!
Be selfish. Too tired to party or go to that dreaded wedding of someone you hardly know and have to be there just because you’re his partner? No sweat, just stay home because now no one is going to make you do something you do not want to.
Flip through that girlie magazine with a face full of that unflattering mud mask, repaint your nails every 3 days just because it’s therapeutic. Read a novel about high school werewolves for all I care! No one will judge.
Go to sleep at 7pm or sleep out your hangovers throughout the weekend because no one is going to try to drag you out of bed. When you do not want to be bothered and decide to silent your phone, you won’t end up arguing with your friends just because they can’t reach you!
Bottom line, you don’t have to take care of anyone else’s feelings but your own.
Learn to be alone. I read somewhere some time back, “Learn to love yourself first, then find someone to share the happiness“.
VERDICT: There are pros and cons in being single and being in a relationship. What matters most is how you make the most out of every moment. Remember, you only live once!