I have gone through one too many flings which started off as no strings attached that ended with tears.
All men seem to be taught that they need to charm the pants off you even if they knew they were gonna get lucky anyways.
I love the cuddling and hand holding after sex, along with all the sweet nothings we talk about, but that is strictly for relationships. With F-buddies, that is the road to disaster.
I’ve experimented with ways to not fall for them and I seem to have lowered the rate of heartache with each new man.
NEVER BE A DOORMAT
Ever had a guy call/text you at midnight asking for you to be at his doorstep?
No matter how much you want to, have him know that sleep or beers or even your dog is way above him. You are not his free hooker on call 24/7.
However, do make a point to call him possibly the week after (or whenever you want it). I’ll bet he would be readily available or at least set up a booty call date. Its like handing a candy to little boys for good behavior.
Make it as if he’s your free male escort instead of being his FOC hooker. Eventually he would learn that you’re not his doormat and appreciate every meet up.
Trust me on this, it works every time with men of all age.
YOUR F-BUD IS NOT YOUR FRIEND
After sex, move on. After you caught your breath, go meet your friends. Go on with your life.
Do not initiate or expect to talk. Most women are well known for wanting to talk after sex.
Why bother? The dude is not your friend. Get going, find your real friends and talk to them instead.
And when he is out of sight, don’t bother communicating unless you want sex.
Talking opens your mind to him emotionally and you might be surprised how well you get along.
I’m not even talking about deep emotional talks. When you talk, your mind tricks you into thinking he might like you too, or that you guys have chemistry which could possible lead to something. But sex is just sex to men. They don’t get emotionally involved like women do.
I know of men who were like;
Him: Women like me cause I can talk to them for hours after sex
Me: I don’t talk after sex. Why do I need to get to know him? I’m not gonna marry him! I rather they just shut up and look hot
Him: Wow you sound just like me!
They should be glad they are let off the hook from talking. If all else fails, just pretend you fell asleep, get up and leave or throw him out!
HE IS ALSO NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND
Smooches and cuddles are reserved for relationships.
Do not cuddle after sex no matter how tempted you are or how comfortable it looks. It seems to be wired in women’s mind to cuddle. I love cuddles, and in fact I miss cuddling up to a man. But whenever I do that, my mind seems to confuse a cuddle with feelings.
Just avoid it altogether and you’ll be surprised how much less you’d fall for him.
If he hugs you, politely push his arms away and roll over. He’s a man, he’ll be glad he doesn’t have to spoon after sex.
Oxytocin is a powerful hormone. When we hug or kiss a loved one, oxytocin levels drive up. It also acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. In fact, the hormone plays a huge role in pair bonding – SOURCE: HERE
HE DOES NOT OWN YOU (AND YOU DON’T OWN HIM)
Just as he would most likely have other F-Buddies, you may or may not be shagging other men. But be sure he knows or at least think that you are.
But don’t brag about other men on purpose. If he ever brings up the topic, talk about it casually. Don’t feel bad about it and don’t ask if it makes him jealous.
Make it known that it is not the end of the world if he doesn’t want to meet you.
That way, he would not be as worried that you may fall for him and start avoiding you.
If he talks about his sexcapades, don’t be jealous (and never show it). Instead, replace the jealousy with a sense of achievement; he is hot and many others wants him too, but he still chooses to F you!
SPACE IT OUT
Do not meet every day. Or every other day.
When people meet frequently, they tend to get closer.
Know your limit. Like say, if every 2 weeks is a good enough time to not fall for the guy, keep the booty schedule to that no matter how much your hormones are raging.
If you find that you’re beginning to miss the guy, stay away until you stop thinking of him. If the feeling does not go away, perhaps you should reconsider if you could really have a casual relationship with him.
Do not ever go through the ‘what if’ talk. The what if we fall for each other bullshit.
There should never be an IF. Keep it in your mind that he is an object. A moving, breathing vibrator with a mind of its own.
The F-Buddy should never be an object you fall in love with.
If you want a boyfriend, start fresh with someone who does not have it in their mind that you’re only good for sex.