I have gone through one too many flings which started off as no strings attached that ended with tears.
All men seem to be taught that they need to charm the pants off you even if they knew they were gonna get lucky anyways.
I love the cuddling and hand holding after sex, along with all the sweet nothings we talk about, but that is strictly for relationships. With F-buddies, that is the road to disaster.
I’ve experimented with ways to not fall for them and I seem to have lowered the rate of heartache with each new man.
NEVER BE A DOORMAT
Ever had a guy call/text you at midnight asking for you to be at his doorstep?
No matter how much you want to, have him know that sleep or beers or even your dog is above him. You are not hooker on call 24/7, whom he does not pay.
However, do make a point to call him possibly the week after (or whenever you want it). I’ll bet he would be readily available or at least set up a booty call date. It’s like rewarding little boys for good behaviour.
Use him as your free male escort. Eventually, he would learn that you’re not his doormat and appreciate every meetup.
Trust me on this; it works with men of all ages.
YOUR F-BUD IS NOT YOUR FRIEND
After sex, move on. After you caught your breath, meet your friends. Go on with your life.
Do not initiate or expect to talk. Most women are known for wanting pillow talk after sex.
Why bother? The dude is not your friend. Get going, meet your real friends and talk to them instead.
And when he is out of sight, do not bother to communicate unless you want sex.
Talking opens your mind to him emotionally and you might be surprised how well you get along.
I’m not even talking about deep emotional talks. When you talk, your mind tricks you into thinking he might like you too, or that you guys have chemistry which could possibly lead to something more. But sex is just sex to men. They don’t get emotionally involved like women do.
I know of men who were like;
Him: Women like me cause I can talk to them for hours after sex
Me: I don’t talk after sex. Why do I need to get to know him? I’m not gonna marry him! I rather they just shut up and look hot
Him: Wow you sound just like me!
They will be glad they are let off the hook. If all else fails, just pretend you fell asleep, get up and leave or throw him out!
HE IS ALSO NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND
Smooches and cuddles are reserved for relationships. Or one nighters if you need that quick fix of love and affection.
Do not cuddle after sex no matter how tempted you are or how comfortable it looks. It’s wired in women’s brain to cuddle. I love cuddles, and in fact, I miss cuddling up to a man. But whenever I do that, my mind seems to confuse cuddling with emotions.
Avoid it all together and you’ll be surprised that you’re not falling for him.
If he hugs you, politely push his arms away and roll over. He’s a man, he’ll be glad he doesn’t have to spoon after sex.
Oxytocin is a powerful hormone. When we hug or kiss a loved one, oxytocin levels drive up. It also acts as a neurotransmitter in the brain. In fact, the hormone plays a huge role in pair bonding – SOURCE: HERE
HE DOES NOT OWN YOU (AND YOU DON’T OWN HIM)
Just as he would most likely have other F-Buddies, you may or may not be F-ing other men. But be sure he knows or at least think that you are.
But don’t brag about other men on purpose. If he brings up the topic, talk about it casually. Don’t feel bad about it and don’t ask if it upsets him.
Make it known that it is not the end of the world if he doesn’t want to meet you.
That way, he would not be as worried that you might fall for him and start avoiding you.
If he talks about his sexcapades, don’t be jealous (or at least don’t show it). Instead, replace the jealousy with a sense of achievement; he is hot and many others want him too, but he still chooses to F you!
SPACE IT OUT
Do not meet every day. Or every other day.
When people meet frequently, they tend to get closer (obviously!).
Know your limit. If every 2 weeks is a good enough time to not fall for the guy, keep the booty schedule to that no matter how much your libido is raging.
If you find that you’re beginning to miss him, stay away until you stop thinking of him. If the feeling does not go away, perhaps you should reconsider if you could really have a casual relationship with him.
Do not ever go through the ‘what if’ talk. The what if we fall for each other bullshit.
There should never be an IF. Keep it in mind that he is an object. A moving, breathing vibrator with a mind of its own.
The F-Buddy should never be an object you fall in love with.
If you want a boyfriend, start fresh with someone who does not have it in their mind that you’re only good for sex.