First, you must read THIS
5 MONTHS LATER
I was down with flu. Curled up in bed, I felt lonely and I wondered why. Did the happiness of my single hood fade off and finally come to an end?
Then I realized that I used to spend my spare time at home chatting with Hugo and Pablo. Now that they were no longer in the picture, I had a whole lot of time on my hands.
I texted Hugo that I was gonna be in Singapore next month to visit a friend. I totally made that up. He told me to give him the dates so he could take me around. I was ecstatic!
The next day I plotted ways to convince Christy to go with me. Eventually, I decided to tell her the retarded truth of how I fell for a complete stranger whom I have never met and wanted to meet him to get the fascination over with.
Me: I have pictured Hugo to be Mr Perfect, the one who would blow my mind away physically and emotionally. I want to meet him cause I’m sure in reality he isn’t all that.
Christy: Right.. and what if he is perfect?
Owh. I have never thought of it that way. But she decided it would be fun to take a trip and party out of the country; “I think it’s ridiculous but since you want it that bad, I’ll go with you”.
Everything was planned out perfectly. Hugo began to text me on a daily basis and I was happy. With him, I felt like I could actually do relationships again.
But on the day we were supposed to book the flights, there were no available rooms at Hilton (I get good rates) and Christy got into a car accident that morning so all vacation money goes to the car. I felt like I was totally getting cock blocked by fate. Or perhaps somethings just were not meant to be.
But I refuse to accept that fact.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell Hugo I was no longer coming. I had to have one last awesome conversation with him before he decides to go silent again.
That weekend, he texted at around midnight asking if I was out partying. I obviously was so he replied, “Nothing, messaged you to play strip selfie“. He was drunk and what he really meant was he wanted me to send a mirror selfie with my usual spaghetti top with my undies.
I decided to follow up on that conversation.
Me: You know, strip selfie should be like strip poker. One piece of clothing comes off at a time *sends him a photo of me fully clothed*
Him: How do we decide who takes off next?
Me: We take turns.
Him: I like! I’m naked now though.. But..
He sent me a topless selfie of himself and told me to catch up (he put on pants first)
Our self made game of strip selfie got out of hand with the both of us stripping down to nothing while making sure we took shots that covered our bits. As much as it was fun and we were laughing, we were both very turned on.
Him: Tell me what do you want (referring to what his next photo should be)
Me: I want you in front of me right now
Him: Tell me about it
.. and he brought a whole new meaning to sexting. Never in my life have I imagined sexting to be so intense. Previously, we did dirty talk. But it probably goes as far as stuff like, “I wish you were here right now“.
This time I felt like I actually had sex with him, except, it was with my imagination. It was way intense.
After 1.5 hours of prolonged strip selfie, I broke the news to him.
Him: I wish there was a teleport option.
Me: Its called a plane in this era. Just takes a little bit longer.
Him: You know planes goes in both directions right?
He wanted me to go to Singapore. I refused. Everything is way too costly there.
We then started planning on a trip to a random beach. We talked about it for a whole week. We checked on flights, his leaves, the rooms, weather.. Then he went silent for 3 whole days.
Last night I texted him;
Me: You’re awfully quiet. I guess I don’t have to renew my passport?
Him: I’m unsure if a beach is a good idea because we haven’t met. I’d like us to hang out but a random beach trip seems a bit too random.
Me: I guessed as much. Well, I feel like I’m forcing you to meet when you had your reasons for not wanting to the last time.. Perhaps I’m just not worth it.
And with that, I snapped back to reality while he fell off the face of earth once again.
There is an entire ocean filled with fishes, why should I chase after one who is so extremely fickle and uncertain about me? One who does not feel that I’m worthy of meeting. I was about to text him about how disappointed I am with the whole situation but I decided that I am better than to argue with a person I’ve never met. I just won’t stoop that low.
I deleted his photos, his messages and even his number. I’m deleting him from my life. I’m done with imagining the many different ways I might meet him, I even had sex with him in my imagination. I reckon that is very much sufficient.
I then announced to my buddies, Lucca and Jenna; “I’m done chasing after my imagination. Next week, I’m back to F-ing real life male models!”
Yup, I’ve a super hot Persian model lined up!
VERDICT: I will not allow another guy second guess me again. I’m better than that. We are all better than that. If you’re unsure, the door is down the hallway, on your left. F-off and never come back, and yes, you’re welcome 🙂