Tinder Dates – 31-43 of 50

First dates are tough work. You sit for a couple of hours and judge one another. I really kinda hate it. My only motivation is usually the food. I mean, majority of the time there wouldn’t even be a second date so why bother hyping and expect the impossible?

At one point my gay buddy, Luca and I even challenged ourselves to one date per week. After a month, I was so thoroughly exhausted I had to take a month off dating!

So anyways, on to the dating updates!

 

DATE No.31
Canadian Mr 31 is.. How do I put this nicely?  He didn’t quite look like his photos, he tried to be funny but came off as cheesy, he also had this feminine touch to his personality that at some point of the date, I wondered if he was gay. Needless to say, the date did not last very long.

 

DATE No.32
Have you ever met someone and instantly disliked them? Like his face annoys you, his voice annoys you, his very existence annoys you, every word that comes out of him annoys you. I know I’m being a bitch, but I just couldn’t stand being in his presence. Don’t get me wrong, he was pretty nice.. I think? I mean, all I felt was the annoyance.

Such a waste though. He was gorgeous AF on photos (not so in person) with the kinda body I usually lust for.  He tried to sway the date back to his place after dinner. Tough luck!

 

DATE No.33
Mr 33 was no other than our beloved Mr Fat Man. His photos on Tinder were gorgeous.. and that is because they were taken 5 years ago! But Luke has this warm, caring vibe about him that got me instantly hooked. Full post HERE.

 

DATE N0.34 
I was heart broken by LUCAS. I needed an outlet. I’ve never EVER believed in turning up at a stranger’s home, but Mr 34 was a hot, young model from Bosnia. And most of all, he was convenient!

Well, I had been chatting with him on and off for about 2-3 years, deep conversations about life, had a whole circle of mutual friends.. it really felt like I knew him already.

So when he booty called while I was having drinks with Date No.25 (we were friends), I agreed to turn up at his doorstep (he lived down the road). The F was nothing to shout about other than the fact that he had a whole lot of energy, but that ain’t no surprise considering he was a whooping 7 years younger than I am!

 

DATE No.35
From the US, Mr 35 describes himself as ‘young and socialble’. But all he really does is reply with single positive expressions like – Magical! Exquisite! Amazing! Perfect! Astonishing! Magnificent! Beautiful! .. and the list goes on and on.

Initially it was an ego booster. I mean, he compliments every damn thing that comes out of me. Just maybe I am that magical! But after awhile it just became clear that he was incapable of a proper conversation.

 

DATE No.36
A white South African, Mr 36 was pretty good looking on photos. The conversation had a decent flow and we texted a couple of days till we finally met. Still being heartbroken over Luke, I demanded a casual dinner. I just couldn’t handle being wined and dined anymore.

When we got to meet for burgers, I swear the dude has gotta be at least 10 years older than his photos. That or the photos were highly photoshopped. It didn’t help that he was very touchy. The date lasted a mere 1.5 hours before I ran off for drinks with my friends.

 

DATE No.37 
I have loads of mutual friends with German mixed Italian Mr 37 who ran his own business in KL. In fact, he used to be good friends with KURT. We texted for a whole 7 hours when we first matched and agreed to meet that week.

Here’s a life lesson to all you Tinderers/singles out there – Do not, I repeat, do not ever take your date out to a place where you know your friends hang out. Especially if your friends are better looking than you are.

Long story short; we dined at his friend’s Italian restaurant. Bumped into his friends.. lo and behold, among his friends was FINN (Date No.7)! After dinner, we went out for a smoke and his friends demanded we joined them. Naturally, I sat and chatted with Finn all night. When I say all night, it is because his friends totally hijacked the date and got us to go partying with them. Didn’t help that one of his friends were totally my type!

All was good till my date confronted me about Finn the next day. According to him, it was obvious we had a history – “it’s a mix between comfy and awkward, surprised and nervous, familiar and distant, yet close”.

Ah well, I wasn’t interested in the dude anyway. It was just amazing that the date was saved by his friends.

I met up with Finn a couple of days later and fooled around like horny teenagers in the car. But nope, did not F.

 

DATE No.38 
Australian mixed Italian, personal trainer/gym manager was 3 years younger, a divorced dad of 3 at the ripe young age of 21! Fatherhood was so overwhelming that he had a vasectomy at 24!!

Mr 38 had a body of a God and a personality of a sack of hay. Half way through the date, we bumped into his hot friend who was really entertaining and my first thought was “Wow! Why aren’t I on a date with him instead?” (See, the above life lesson applies here as well!)

Nope, did not hook up. We did plan on meeting again but that of course did not happen.

 

DATE No. 39 
I suppose the date with Mr 39 wouldn’t have gone far considering I was heartbroken by Lucas (again!). Yeah, after 5 fruitless dates, I just really missed that fat ass. Didn’t help that I met Lucas a couple of days before the date for the very last time.

This one was a chatter. He’s funny, super duper cute, with that cheeky smile but I just couldn’t make myself be interested. He tried to sway the date home but nahhh, if Lucas wasn’t occupying my brains 25/7, he probably would have stood a chance.

 

DATE No.40
I tried to move on. I really did. French Mr 40 just arrived in KL for the next 5 years. He was nice, sweet, looking for a relationship and all that jazz. But it’s about time I accept the fact that I may say I want a relationship, but run the other direction when I’m presented with one.

But.. he really is a man with a woman’s soul. He’d continuously seek attention.  All the freaking time! It was exhausting!

Him: I’m going back to France for 2 weeks. I wouldn’t be able to disturb you then.
Me: Oh *asks some random questions*
Him: You didn’t say I’m not disturbing you!! *gets legit upset*

Seriously?! We had like 5 casual dates (no making out/hooking up) till I just couldn’t take it anymore. Especially so when he demanded that I show more interest. I. Just. Cannot!

 

DATE No.41
That week, I told Kurt that since I’ve tried importing Tinder dates from other countries, I wanted to export myself out to meet a dude. I obviously have got no balls for that shit so I decided to meet someone who’s based in another country so that I could go there for a F-cation.

Mr 41 is an absolutely gorgeous, successful, young, single dad from Australia who owns a yacht and speedboat business on an island in a neighboring country. We met up for drinks, gave in to the seduction and failed my mission miserably. Hey, you can’t blame a girl when the dude could reallyyyyyy dance!

 

DATE No.42 
Remember the hot friend of Mr 38? We matched on Tinder the day after! Can you imagine my excitement? We laughed about the night, continued chatting and finally met 2 months later.

Mr 42 is a master golf instructor who was highly entertaining with a nice solid body at 6’4, and a downright gentleman. I don’t know what he’s looking for, but my gut instinct tells me he’s not looking for a one nighter. Maybe I’ll see him again, maybe I won’t..

 

DATE No.43 
Throwback to Date No.20 – I was instantly, ridiculously attracted to him. Every fiber of his being oozed sex appeal and I was dying to pounce on him from the moment we met. Here’s a recap – it was the most memorable Tinder date to date, spent 6 hours binge eating at 3 different locations, Top 5 best F with a gigantic D. I will never forget getting F-ed on his kitchen counter. It was pure bliss!

So when I matched with Mr 43, I was curious to know if I’d feel the same way. They were brothers after all *insert maniacal laughter*

Well, I did not plan on meeting the dude initially. I even admitted that I stalked him on FB and what I found was awkward. But the conversation had a good flow and we talked each other into meeting up at 3AM because we were both night owls. I made it clear that it will not be a hook up though I secretly hoped I’d get to do both brothers. I am F-ed up like that!

When we finally got to meeting at 3AM at a mamak a few hours after Date No.42, to my disappointment, I did not have an ounce of attraction towards the dude. Not one bit. So I decided to spill the beans – that I hooked up with his brother a year back and man, we did have a good laugh through the date.

What’s life if we did not do weird stuff to keep ourselves entertained?

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Tinder Dates – 16-30 of 50

Continuing from where we left off, I feel that as the number of dates increases, I spent more time getting to know these dates rather than getting a quick F. Tinder dates are after all really time consuming considering I’ve gotta keep up with the chatting.

 

DATE No.16
I was in Phuket and while waiting for Stella to arrive, I met up with Brandon. Full post HERE.

From the UK, Brandon was a gentleman, a little shy and pretty sweet. We had dinner at the nicest restaurant on the street before I ran off to meet Stella to party. Nope, we did not hook up.

 

DATE No.17
Can’t remember his name or where he was from, Mr. 17 turned out to be living at his friend’s temporarily that happened to be the next building from mine. Initially had an argument about him booty calling me, and ended up meeting for lunch the next day. It was so uninteresting that the date ended after 30 minutes.

 

DATE No.18
Matched Mr. 18, a Spanish chef and chatted for a whole week and eventually met for cheese fondue! We had a lot of chemistry going on and the date lasted 4 hours, but unfortunately, I was not one bit attracted to him in person. Wasn’t surprising that he wanted to continue dating and see how things went, but I couldn’t bare to waste his time. Nope, did not hook up.

 

DATE No.19
I felt like getting laid. I also felt like having Jamon Serrano on toast. What better way to kill two birds with one stone than a Tinder date?

Freddy probably deserves his own post but I guess it’s just a typical one night stand turned 3 night stands plus some dates.

Texas born business owner with a mountain of lawsuits on him, Freddy was 3 years younger than I am, hilarious, witty, charming, a sweet talker and so very adorable. Unfortunately with a personality like that, one can only be a F-boy. The first date lasted a whooping 7 hours before we landed on his bed. He F’s like a machine too and the chemistry was nuts!

I can’t deny I adored him. Chemistry was insane, we could talk and F for hours.. but being 6 months fresh out of a divorce (he was with her for 16 years!), he obviously couldn’t take anything seriously. He even showed me his divorce papers.

 

DATE No.20
This one was a texter. And the thing with texters is that I often find that they don’t talk much in person. Not Mr. 20 though. Dutch business owner, 6’4 with a solid body.. he is by far the most fun Tinder date to date.

We binge ate the night away at 3 different locations. The entire date lasted a whole 6 hours. I liked him so much that I held back pouncing on him. The level of attraction I have for him was mad. He wasn’t supermodel hot, but I just find him so very good looking!

For some strange reason that I can no longer recall, we argued over text the next day and that somehow led to angry sex at his. I failed my mission to hold back sex once again but it was so amazing, I have no regrets.

It’s been a year and I still think of him every now and then.

 

DATE No.21
From the Isle of Man, Mr. 21 was a chef. Dinner, drinks and joined me to party. Nothing much to write about really. The F was bad though! The best memory of the date was the very yummy Wagyu dish we had at a Japanese restaurant.

 

DATE No.22
Australian cop, Kent and I matched when he was in KL for vacation, left without meeting and somehow continued chatting. He decided to fly back to KL for my birthday only to realize not only we had no chemistry, we simply did not like one another. Doesn’t change the fact that he was massive hot though! Full post HERE.

 

DATE No.23
A pilot from the US, Mr. 23 was okayyyy. I guess we could hold a decent conversation but we didn’t exactly have anything in common. I found it funny that he shaves his legs, did IPL on his entire body (chest, arms, pubes) but left his somewhat balding head with (not much) hair. He did not look like he was balding on photos, and nope, did not hook up.

 

DATE No.24
Dutch Mr. 24 was looking for something serious. But at 6’4, we looked kinda ridiculous together and I find him rather dull for my liking. No hooking up either.

 

DATE No.25
Mr. 25 from the UK is a sweetheart who’s also looking for something serious. Unfortunately, shallow me had zero attraction towards him and sometimes find him rather annoying and braggy. I get more of a friend vibe from him and after the second date, I told him that we could only be friends. We are still friends and hang out occasionally.

 

DATE No.26 and 27
I met them both in one night when I solo traveled to Siem Reap. Full post HERE.

 

DATE No.28
Born in the UK and spent many years in KL, the date with Mr. 28 was pleasant and lasted 4 hours with a goodnight kiss. We met again the next day at his restaurant, just hanging out from noon till night and by the time I left, all I felt was suffocation. He too was looking for something serious but I’m starting to think that maybe I ain’t made for relationships?

I slowly but surely slowed on the texting and he continuously drunk texted till I had to tell him that I couldn’t date him. We are still friends.

 

DATE No.29
Whoaaa this one was intense!

A football TV presenter from the UK, Mr. 29 had a very annoying sense of humor. He was looking for something serious and continuously badgered me for a second date (during the date) while I kept declining politely. The days following the date, he’d text. And call when I didn’t reply immediately. And kept calling. Eventually told him to tone it down and he got pissed *roll eyes!

 

DATE No.30
Australian tech start up founder, Mr.30 was just your typical Mr Nice Guy who most likely gets friendzoned by every girl he meets. I’m just assuming cause that was the vibe I got. The date was just okay, nothing extraordinary. He had a nice solid body and was pretty good looking, but no attraction whatsoever. Dinner, drinks, joined me to party.. and never heard from him again.

 

Tinder Dates – 1-15 of 50

Some years back, I was hooked on a blog ( walkinsauce.tumblr ) about the author’s Tinder experiences as she went on one date per week up till she accumulated 50 dates. I religiously logged on to her blog weekly. She was hilarious; from dating much younger boys to priests.. I can’t possibly top that.

At that point, I couldn’t imagine I’d ever rack up 50 dates. But being single for 3 years and 9 months now (wow that’s 45 months / estimated 1,350 days right there!) meant lots of alone time swiping and chatting with randos. I’ve been on 37 Tinder dates to date. No, I did not hook up with all of them!

And because I suck so bad at dating (as I was whining about on The Fat Man), I decided to dedicate date no.35 – 50 on being a decent human being, or at least variations of it without actually hooking up.

Here’s what I figured; Dating is a numbers game. The more I date, the higher chances I’d meet someone I actually like. When I first turned single, I went on a date every 3-4 months. I could go up to 6 months without sitting down and getting to know a new dude.

Buttttt.. there should obviously be improvements in one’s technique, so here’s a timeline summary of my first 15 Tinder dates!

DATE No.1
Technically, Pablo wasn’t from Tinder. But here’s where all the madness started. Full post HERE.

Pablo and I chatted for whole 2 months before I actually agreed to meet him at my usual club and drunkenly hooked up that night itself. It was amazing!

But I was only 3 months into singlehood back then and Pablo wanted a relationship. I had to let him go. He left soon after but we did meet up when he was back in KL a year or so later. He even proposed to fly me over to Spain recently but I wasn’t up for it.

 

DATE No.2
It wasn’t really a date. But I still met a dude off Tinder. I was out with a bunch of friends and invited him to join. Gorgeous AF Italian dude who just arrived in KL not too long ago. My friends were determined to get him drunk so I’d get lucky, but my body obviously hates me. I got my period mid date!! We did make out though.

We didn’t see each other again, but some months later I found out through his Instagram that he got engaged. Dafuq?!

 

DATE No.3
The first proper dinner and drinks date goes to Marcel. Full post HERE.

Also Italian, Marcel had the sexiest smile (at least back then it was) and made me blush like a virgin school girl all night. Spent 4 hours chatting and nada. No action.

DATE No.4
The date from hell with Joseph. Full post HERE.

A local TV presenter who’s Malay-German. Joseph was so full of himself that he got mad when I said he’s gotten chubbier than his photos. I remained calm when he told me we should have a threesome with my bestie, that we should F in the bar washroom and that I’ve got a come-F-me-face!

He later on called me a true blue bitch.

 

DATE No.5
Gorgeous Persian male model who’s as interesting as a block of wood. Full post HERE.

We matched, chatted occasionally and bumped into him at my usual joint where we made out and hooked up a couple of days later. Nothing interesting really.

 

DATE No.6
Another Persian male model/personal trainer with gorgeously defined 8 packs, featured on Men’s Health cover but couldn’t hold a conversation to save his life. It was then that I decided that I ain’t gonna bother with male models no more. We only drunkenly made out.

 

DATE No.7
Dearest Finn is a full on sexy French-Italian MMA fighter who is by far the most sensual, seductive man I have ever hooked up with to date.  Full post HERE.

We met up after a week or so of chatting and was instantly smitten by him. So much so that I held off sex till the fourth date.. and continued as F-Buds for a couple of months. Finn is the definition of a pleaser.

 

DATE No.8
Brazilian Andy turned out to be a friend of a friend whom I partied with. Full post HERE.

We chatted on and off for months but failed to meet up till his farewell party. Quite a nasty experience really.

 

DATE No.9
I was excited to meet Keith when I read that Hungarian men were the most well hung in all of Europe. Boy was I disappointed! Full post HERE.

We went on a date that lasted 7 whole hours and ended with a mind numbingly boring F! *yawn!!

 

DATE No.10
I wouldn’t call this a date but this match asked where I’d be that night and I told him. He turned up, insisted I brought him and his friend into VIP and proceeded to help themselves with drinks that they did not pay for and annoying the hell out of ALL the girls at my table. Eventually, I had to get the manager to get rid of them.

 

DATE No.11
Hot, bald, sexy, and French, Cruz flew in from Singapore to spend the weekend with me. Full post HERE.

We chatted for a full 9 hours before actually getting to it. Partied the next night away. It felt a lot like having a boyfriend for the weekend.

DATE No.12
The ultimate F-Boy turn BFF, Kurt darling. Full post HERE.

Totally fell head over heels for Kurt and was put on a roller coaster ride of emotions for months before I realized what a F-Boy he is. All’s good now that I, as his best friend come before any of his chicks.

 

DATE No.13
From the UK, this one was definitely too hot to be a CEO of a pharmaceutical company (as stated on his Tinder bio). Buff and good looks, he gave killer I’m-Gonna-Do-Bad-Things-To-You eyes all throughout our dinner date. We obviously hooked up after. And again on Valentines Day!

 

DATE No.14
A black Brazilian mixed German, this match was a bore to the core. There was no chemistry or physical attraction and yet he tried with all he could to sway the date back to his place. Nope. Did not happen!

DATE No.15
Another chemistry-less German date that ended all too soon. Really nothing to write home about other than blabbering uninteresting stuff all night long.

 

 

F You, Cupid!: Part II

First, you must read THIS

 

5 MONTHS LATER

I was down with flu. Curled up in bed, I felt lonely and I wondered why. Did the happiness of my single hood fade off and finally come to an end?

Then I realized that I used to spend my spare time at home chatting with Hugo and Pablo. Now that they were no longer in the picture, I had a whole lot of time on my hands.

I texted Hugo that I was gonna be in Singapore next month to visit a friend. I totally made that up. He told me to give him the dates so he could take me around. I was ecstatic!

The next day I plotted ways to convince Christy to go with me. Eventually, I decided to tell her the retarded truth of how I fell for a complete stranger whom I have never met and wanted to meet him to get the fascination over with.

Me: I have pictured Hugo to be Mr Perfect, the one who would blow my mind away physically and emotionally. I want to meet him cause I’m sure in reality he isn’t all that.
Christy: Right.. and what if he is perfect?

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Owh. I have never thought of it that way. But she decided it would be fun to take a trip and party out of the country; “I think it’s ridiculous but since you want it that bad, I’ll go with you”.

Everything was planned out perfectly. Hugo began to text me on a daily basis and I was happy. With him, I felt like I could actually do relationships again.

But on the day we were supposed to book the flights, there were no available rooms at Hilton (I get good rates) and Christy got into a car accident that morning so all vacation money goes to the car. I felt like I was totally getting cock blocked by fate. Or perhaps somethings just were not meant to be.

But I refuse to accept that fact.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell Hugo I was no longer coming. I had to have one last awesome conversation with him before he decides to go silent again.

That weekend, he texted at around midnight asking if I was out partying. I obviously was so he replied, “Nothing, messaged you to play strip selfie“. He was drunk and what he really meant was he wanted me to send a mirror selfie with my usual spaghetti top with my undies.

No that’s not me LOL

I decided to follow up on that conversation.

Me: You know, strip selfie should be like strip poker. One piece of clothing comes off at a time *sends him a photo of me fully clothed*
Him: How do we decide who takes off next?
Me: We take turns.
Him: I like! I’m naked now though.. But..

He sent me a topless selfie of himself and told me to catch up (he put on pants first)

Our self made game of strip selfie got out of hand with the both of us stripping down to nothing while making sure we took shots that covered our bits. As much as it was fun and we were laughing, we were both very turned on.

Him: Tell me what do you want (referring to what his next photo should be)
Me: I want you in front of me right now
Him: Tell me about it

.. and he brought a whole new meaning to sexting. Never in my life have I imagined sexting to be so intense. Previously, we did dirty talk. But it probably goes as far as stuff like, “I wish you were here right now“.

This time I felt like I actually had sex with him, except, it was with my imagination. It was way intense.

After 1.5 hours of prolonged strip selfie, I broke the news to him.

Him: I wish there was a teleport option.
Me: Its called a plane in this era. Just takes a little bit longer.
Him: You know planes goes in both directions right?

He wanted me to go to Singapore. I refused. Everything is way too costly there.

We then started planning on a trip to a random beach. We talked about it for a whole week. We checked on flights, his leaves, the rooms, weather.. Then he went silent for 3 whole days.

Last night I texted him;

Me: You’re awfully quiet. I guess I don’t have to renew my passport?
Him: I’m unsure if a beach is a good idea because we haven’t met. I’d like us to hang out but a random beach trip seems a bit too random.
Me: I guessed as much. Well, I feel like I’m forcing you to meet when you had your reasons for not wanting to the last time.. Perhaps I’m just not worth it.

keep-calm-and-spin-around-in-circles-on-my-middle-finger

And with that, I snapped back to reality while he fell off the face of earth once again.

There is an entire ocean filled with fishes, why should I chase after one who is so extremely fickle and uncertain about me? One who does not feel that I’m worthy of meeting. I was about to text him about how disappointed I am with the whole situation but I decided that I am better than to argue with a person I’ve never met. I just won’t stoop that low.

I deleted his photos, his messages and even his number. I’m deleting him from my life. I’m done with imagining the many different ways I might meet him, I even had sex with him in my imagination. I reckon that is very much sufficient.

delete-music-collection

 

I then announced to my buddies, Lucca and Jenna; “I’m done chasing after my imagination. Next week, I’m back to F-ing real life male models!

Yup, I’ve a super hot Persian model lined up!

 

VERDICT: I will not allow another guy second guess me again. I’m better than that. We are all better than that. If you’re unsure, the door is down the hallway, on your left. F-off and never come back, and yes, you’re welcome 🙂

F You, Cupid! : Part I

This is a story of how I ventured online in my search for a hottie.. and got my heart broken in the process.

A month after I turned single 6 months back, I texted Chad to see if he was up for a beer. It was 11pm and I was bored. He replied saying he was busy, perhaps I should put up a profile on OKCupid and browse through the unlimited supply of hot men who might be able to keep me entertained for the time being.

I happily signed up, glad that in a way I had something to do. I spent 80% of the time setting up my profile and poking around at the questionnaire section before I recalled that my purpose on the site was to browse for eye candies and not to promote myself. You see, at that point of time, online dating did not make sense to me one bit. Why do I need to set up a profile to meet men when I could easily meet them in bars and/or clubs?

Anyways, the messages poured in and I got bored within a week. Eventually I cleared the long essay I had in the About Me to ‘This is temporary insanity‘.

One night as I was browsing through profiles with no intentions on messaging or replying anyone, I came across Hugo’s profile. I paused for a moment…

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Should I message him? He’s hot, but not the kinda hot I usually lust for. He had the physique of the above photo, though I’ve no idea about the package.

Read, re-read.. Based in Singapore. Ahhh F it! What’s the point?

Name: HUGO
Origin: England
Based: Singapore
Ethnicity: English
Height: 6″. Bald. Buffed
First impression: Bad boy
Age: 4 years older

The next morning, I received a message from Hugo. After a few witty replies we started chatting over Whatsapp and I was hooked.

We’d be on Whatsapp for 2-3 hours every other day. He’d text briefly after work at about 7pm and when he got home I’d be glued to my phone. Over the weekend we’d be chatting throughout the day.

Conversations were never dull . We talked about everything; our daily lives, awesome food, travels experiences, relationships and heartbreaks, wild parties, work stress, our pets, family and friends, college days. It was easy and open.

Woman texting on her cell

We ran to the mirror and snapped photos of ourselves to prove we were real with specific instructions like “take a mirror selfie with your dog next to you and your tongue sticking out” and “take a selfie with an expression like this emoticon!“.

Occasionally he would be sending drunk texts at 3am and I did the same.

We flirted with some mild dirty talks.

We exchanged specific voice clips – “Hey say this out loud ‘Good night Tessa! Sweet dreams! *Mwaaaahhhhhh*” or “How do you say ‘cheese’ with your tongue out?”.

I dreaded going out as it meant less time spent chatting with him. At times, I’d literally be laughing out loud at the things he says.

I felt like I knew him even though I have never met him – I imagined how I would ‘get lost’ in his huge bed as he described. Walking and playing fetch with his dog on the beach. Teaching me to swim. Cuddling. I painted a perfect image of him.

He made plans to come to KL twice. The first time did not go through as he had just returned from a vacation and was tired. I was disappointed.

Then I begin to question myself; So what if he came? And when he returns to Singapore? If everything went well, can I handle a LDR? Even if I was willing, it was not doable. I have work on weekends, while he was off during the weekends. These questions didn’t stop me from chatting with him. Each time I receive a message from him, I’d light up with a smile.

i-wish-that-you-were-here

Me: Do you think we’d ever meet?
Him: I think so.
Me: But I’d freak out! I’ve never met anyone from a dating site.
Him: It’ll probably be the same as meeting someone after exchanging numbers in the bar while drunk.
Me: OK then. We’ll meet at a bar and you can pretend to pick me up like a total stranger!

After 2 whole months of chatting, he finally bought the tickets to KL for the following week with a screenshot of the confirmation email as proof. I went from feeling shocked to ecstatic to calling Jenna, screaming into the phone, “HUGO IS COMINGGGG!!!“, in the middle of a workday.

But that’s when things went downhill. He wasn’t feeling well so we didn’t chat as much that week. The following week, he decided not to come cause he was sick.

WHAAAAAA??

.. then he stopped texting.

 

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2 WEEKS LATER

I texted him telling how intrigued I am that he bought a ticket to KL and went silent right after. He explained that while he was sick he considered why he was visiting. He wanted to meet me.. But..

In his exact words, “I’m not into mindless sex, so if I came, I would have wanted more. But I don’t want more with someone who lives in another country so there is no point in starting something for the weekend.”. 

Ouch! It felt like I got stabbed in the heart.

I teared up. Tears literally rolled down my cheeks. Over a guy I have never met.

tears

Terrific!

I was so emotionally open to him. Telling him bits and pieces of my life that only my boyfriends and really close friends knew.

Although I didn’t expect anything to bloom as much as I hoped for it, I certainly did not expect nothing to happen at all. I was all prepped up for a heart break after the all weekend date but he didn’t even show up.

How could it be that I’m surrounded by hot men all over KL but I’m obsessed with one who is in Singapore and does not want to pursue a possible relationship with me.

It felt like I got dumped. I did. It was a definite bruise to the ego. So much time wasted texting, laughing, being so happy.. it felt so real.

I was willing to have my heart broken by him. Just not like this. I’ve done all kinds of stupid. But I’ve definitely stooped to a whole new level of stupidity with this one.

I’ve been in search for a Hugo substitute ever since. No one else came close.

Perhaps I was playing make believe, wanting to believe he’s all I imagined him to be, the perfect romantic gentleman, THE ONE who would truly blow my mind emotionally and physically. Maybe the conversations weren’t even all as interesting as I imagined it to be. Maybe it was all that interesting because I wanted to keep him interested so I could not only sext him, but to eventually have sex with him.

What if I actually met him and died of boredom during our dinner date? Or lose all interest after a shag.. or five. I cannot possibly get bored of those fabulous washboard abs that fast, or could I? Or maybe he’s lousy in bed; 3 lousy minutes of boom boom and that’s it.. THE HORROR!

Then I imagined what it would be like to finally meet him.

Piano-Bar-Couple

In a club, dancing, drinking, having fun when Hugo walks up to me and says, “Can I buy you a drink?“, just like how we have planned on us meeting the very first time; him picking me up at a bar. I turn to him, shock, out of words, taking in the gorgeous face. That magnificent big smile that would melt me to the ground. I regain my posture. “Sure, why not?“.

He explains that he moved to KL for work 6 months back but did not contact me as I’ve deleted him on Facebook. Then we dance. We drink. We laugh. We flirt. End of the night, we exchange numbers. As he corners me onto the bar and leans in close enough for a kiss, I smile. I gaze into those deep blue eyes, heart pounding.. should I, or should I not kiss him? “Good night Hugo, sweet dreams.”, I kiss him on the cheek. “Call me some time.“. and I walk away. Smiling.

The next day, my phone buzz.
Him: Hey you 🙂
Me: So we are doing this Whatsapp chatting again now?
Him: I guess. What are you doing this weekend? I want to take you out for dinner. Steak.

I light up. I smile satisfyingly.

So there. I’ve met him. In MY REALITY.

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To be continued HERE.

VERDICT: Perhaps online dating is not for me. The higher the expectations, the higher the disappointment.