My first big-O

I lost my virginity a week before I turned 15, but it wasn’t until I was 20 when I experienced my first orgasm.

During my college years, I worked part time as a freelance promoter doing various jobs at various locations.

One faithful day, I accepted a job and was stationed at a well known gym distributing samples. While I stood around, he cruised by, making playful remarks at my samples and flirted with me.

Name: SID
Origin: KL, Malaysia
Ethnicity: Malay
Height: 5″9. Buffed
First impression: Oh-Em-Gee! He is SO HUGE!
Age: 5 years older

I have no other words for Sid other than HUGE. He was a personal trainer. He was also cute, flirty, playful and flamboyant. Think Johnny Bravo!


You can’t blame me. My dad was a huge fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger and I grew up watching all movies starring Arnold. I even had a poster of him on my wall even before I entered high school. It is in me, I love buffed men.

*You can now imagine sparkles in my eyes when I saw him*


But I didn’t get to see him anymore that day. It was another week till I was due to be there again for 1 last day.



The day finally came! All day I was looking out for him. I was dying to see him again. Hours passed but he was no where to be seen. I started panicking that I might never see him again.

Sid finally appeared later in the evening. I spotted him training upstairs and I rushed up to the washroom, making quite a scene. No one really runs around in there, everyone else were quietly working out. He spotted me immediately and started making small talks.

“I thought you were only coming back in another 2 days!”

Oh he remembers? Was he looking forward to see me too?

When he was done with training, he came around to my booth asking questions about my products and looking for reasons to continue talking to me. Some hours passed before I managed to gather the courage to get him to join me for a smoke outside. Dang, I didn’t even know if he did!

We headed out and up to a secluded corner.

Me: Where is this place?
Him: This is our place

I melted.

My mind was racing; He seemed interested in me.. Does he have a girlfriend? Do I really care? I have a boyfriend.. Would he care?

I have a boyfriend?

I was still dating Leo. As much as I hated his guts, I was somehow stuck in the 4 year relationship that took place in hell. Leo was possessive, jealous, demanding, sensitive and everything you do not want in a boyfriend. The relationship sucked the life out of me. He did not allow me to go out with my friends or talk to guys. He even hated that I was freelancing! You’d be able to read a little more about him HERE.

Back in the gym, Sid passed me his name card, took my number and was out of sight for most of the night. At times I’d catch him checking me out from afar while training his clients or talking to his colleagues.

The next day, I messaged him.

Hey big guy, you want that photo I took of you?

We were texting ever since. Over the weeks, I found excuses to go to the mall where the gym was located with Leia (Girlfriend of Leo’s buddy) a couple of times just to briefly meet him for coffee. As much as Leo wasn’t happy about it, I went on anyway.

One day, Sid invited me out for coffee when his appointment got cancelled. Leo was out with his friends and I agreed immediately. It had been years since I was out alone with a male companion and it was so refreshing. We talked for hours about anything and everything. I found out he has a girlfriend of 4 years and was bored of the relationship. Oh. That sounds alot like me!


When I got home, Leo had returned and we began arguing. I told him I’ve had enough, that even my dad did not control me the way he did and that I needed a break. After many hours of screaming and shouting, I demanded that he left me alone for a week.

The next 2 nights I was floating on cloud nine. Sid and I spent a total of 7 hours chatting over dinner and drinks on the first night.. and on the second night I ended up at his place after dinner with the lame excuse of, “Let’s have Vodka!

At his place, while watching a DVD, we started getting closer and eventually I was lying on his lap. When he movie ended, he covered my eyes with his hand and kissed me. We made out for a bit before he lifted me up and carried me into his room just the way couples in romantic movies do.


I felt a little conscious as he was undressing me but I thought to myself, “Please do not F this up and make a fool outta yourself! You finally nabbed a big buffed dude!

.. and when Sid finally undressed, I swear if I was a comic character, my eyes would have popped outta my skull! His body was gorgeous and I was squirming in ecstasy. He was extremely well endowed too! It was almost impossible to enter and it hurts big time. It felt as if he was taking my virginity! He had to stop mid way for he was scared I was gonna break or something.


2 nights later, I was at his place again. We had even hotter steamier sex! I was much more adjusted to his size and I felt orgasm for the very first time. And the second.. and the third. He was always eager to please.. and I gladly allowed him to.

My 1 week break from Leo was coming to an end. We spent our last night together feeling sad about it.

Him: I might not only like you. I think I’m starting to fall in love with you.
Me: I feel the same even though I know you’re lying.
Him: I am not. But you have him and I have her.

Days passed, and though I got back with Leo, I felt even more suffocated. I kept sneaking off to meet Sid.


We were very experimental in bed. We had hot sweaty candlelit sex. He demanded to know before I came and instead of screaming, “I’m cumminggggg“, like they do in porn flicks, I had to say, “I love you baby!!”. That was a sentence I repeatedly screamed many, many times throughout the nights. He was a sex God!

About a week later, I broke it off with Leo. He cried and begged to no avail. I refused to be sucked into that hell hole once again and miss out on yet another potential relationship like I did with Isaac (Read about Isaac HERE).

Newly and happily single, though not so available, I landed another job at the gym. The entire week, I would follow him back after work and be back at work each day with an ache on different parts of my body from having too much sex. I had my toothbrush, towel, clothes packed in his place. I was a very happy girl. Very much sexually satisfied too!


But the happiness and walking on cloud nine eventually came to an end. He started disappearing on weekends. His phone would be turned off from time to time for hours.

So who’s the girl?

Remember he told me about a girlfriend of 4 years? Let’s name her Elyza for easy reference. Apparently he hardly meets his her and when he does, it was only over the weekends which explains the disappearance. He told me he wanted to break up but her dad was in the hospital and he didn’t want to put her through anymore pain.

I found photos of another woman in his apartment. He told me it was his long term fling whom is married, though they do meet occasionally. Let’s call her Dana.

Bare with me, the story is gonna getting more interesting!

After much arguing and crying, I quietly packed my stuff one morning and was ready to say goodbye to all the fantastic orgasms.

I avoided his calls and messages but caved in one morning and answered. Sid was crying over the phone. He convinced me to meet him that night for some closure.


When we met, we spoke in the car of how I felt like a doormat whenever I couldn’t reach him and that I did not want to further ruin his relationship. He cried like a baby. I was in disbelief watching such a big man burst into tears. “Stay with me tonight. Just one last night“, he told me.

Obviously I gave in. I ended up at his place and did not leave for the next 2 days.

Over the weeks, Sid met my friends, my family. We went for a romantic weekend getaway at a nearby beach resort. It was like a dream come true. It felt perfect, other than the times when I was in so much tears. I don’t even want to start describing the amount of sadness and pain I went through when he did his disappearing acts. He should have been a magician.

One night, he called, “Dana. She’s at my place. She found photos of you and your stuff and has gone mad! She refuse to leave. I don’t know what is wrong with her”.

OK, that’s weird. I thought the problem was with the girlfriend and Dana was non existent? Why is she suddenly in the picture? Why would a fling go berserk?

So now if he wanted to meet me, he’d have to sneak out to my place instead. We still met up with me believing that he was gonna rid of Dana and break up with Elyza. The sex was still amazing and he made an effort to meet me when ever he could.

Then he was gone. For an entire week I couldn’t reach him. His phone was turned off and I couldn’t get hold of him even when I called the gym.

When he finally called me back, he was so cold to me I couldn’t even recognize his voice.

Him: We can’t be together.
Me: I know. That’s pretty crystal. But why?
Him: Dana is pregnant.
Me: Uh huh..
Him: With my child. We had planned it. She wasn’t around the whole of last month because she was finalizing her divorce.
Me: *shocked* How long has she been pregnant?
Him: 5 months.
Me: WHAAAAAA??? and what about Elyza?
Him: I’m breaking up with her.

HOLY F-ING SHIET!! I didn’t know what to believe. Till today, I still don’t understand what happened there. Did Elyza really exist? If there was no Elyza, why didn’t he just cut her out of his stories? Was Dana really just a fling? Was he.. MARRIED?? I couldn’t make sense out of anything he told me. The questions continuously repeated in my head like a broken record.


I was broken. For a full year, I’d drown my sorrows with alcohol. I cried myself to sleep for weeks. I talked about him all the time. I tried calling but he disconnected his number. I watched the video I made of us with photos taken during our getaway over and over till I became numb. The song ‘Belaian Jiwa’, which was attached to the video still makes me sick today. Pity, I used to love that song. Every time I hear Casablanca or Hello by Lionel Richie, I’d think of Sid; his 2 favourite songs.

I eventually got over Sid after more than a year. A guy who was pursuing me snapped me back to reality.

Guy: How long were you with this guy?
Me: Only 2 months plus.
Guy: You don’t even know him. How could you love him?

Fair enough. I moved on.


But Sid broke my heart in a million ways. He showed me how cruel the world could be. I was young and naive. I clearly remember the look of horror on his face when I told him, “You’re the third guy I ever had sex with“. I guess he wanted a F-Buddy but got emotionally attached somewhere along the way.

It’s almost like I was a little girl baptized into a whole new world of infidelity and walked out as a woman with a F-ed up mindset. Least he introduced me into the wonderful world of orgasms!

I just stalked Sid’s Facebook in order to give an update on him in present day. He is married to Dana.. and with 2 kids! No longer buffed, but skinny with loooong hair. F-ing EWWW! I wouldn’t do him now even if he supplied me with 10 orgasms per minute!

No, I don’t have him on my Facebook. He just didn’t set it to private. I wouldn’t want to be friends with him and if I ever saw him on the streets, I’d kick him in the balls so hard that he would no longer be interested in giving another young girl amazing orgasms that would F-up their logical thinking.

VERDICT: I avoided Malay men like plague ever since.