The Betrayal

Name: JACOB
Origin: KL
Ethnicity: Eurasian-Chinese
Height: 5″10. VERY normal.
First impression: Good looking, charming
Age: 1 year older

I sold test tube Vodka shots in the club when I was 22 to survive through college and on one of those nights, I met Jacob.

We did not accept credit cards for the shots I sold and I literally emptied the cash in his wallet selling him shots, leaving him just enough to pay for his parking ticket.

He wanted my digits but I refused. “Come back next week. One shot for each digit to my number“. That would be 10 shots that summed up to MYR150.

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By the next weekend, I have totally forgotten about him. I have used that line on numerous guys who would have somehow bought those shots in the same night (and I’d give them my spare number which I registered for this purpose only) or I would just outright tell them that if I gave my number to every guy who asked for it, I’d be a very busy girl.

I went about my night and when I went to the lounge area outside the club, Jacob was seated with two friends. He bought the 10 shots, drank them and left soon after. I was impressed. He earned my real digits.

Jacob would call me every now and then and we would be chatting for hours over the phone. I didn’t believe in going out with guys whom I met while working at the club but Jacob had his charms.

Some weeks later, I finally went out him for a casual dinner at Swensens. With my black hole of a stomach and crazy appetite, I devoured my giant cheese burger like I’ve not eaten in days. I wanted to drink and we headed to a nearby club for some Vodka cranberry.

Being the emotional drunk that I was back then, I started sobbing like a retard as the night ended. I wasn’t over Sid and it became a routine to weep over it everytime I was intoxicated. Read about Sid HERE.

He put on some sappy love songs, held my hand and comforted me in the car for the longest time but that was it. He never made a move on me.

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We went out a couple more times through the months up to the point where I met Chad. Read about Chad HERE.

I started dating Chad soon after and Jacob was pissed.

Jacob: What does he have that I don’t?
Me: I don’t know.
Jacob: I’m better looking than he is. I’m richer than he is. So why him?
Me: Sigh. Get in line?

I was annoyed. Although I liked Jacob a whole lot, he never really made a real move. And with him going on business trips for long periods of time frequently, I obviously found a new interest.

Over the years we would bump into each other at the clubs or through mutual friends. Jacob would call to check in on me every now and then but Chad wasn’t happy with it so I stopped talking to him unless I happen to see him outside.

 

3 YEARS BACK

I was at a bar that belonged to a girlfriend, Tammy along with Chad. Tammy is one of the only highschool friends whom I managed to keep in touch with. We were really close back in school but pretty much lost touch when she left for another school at 15. We bumped into each other pretty often when we were both partying rampantly at 22 and when we do actually manage to schedule a night out, it’s almost like we never really lost touch.

It was then that Tammy introduced her new boyfriend, Jacob. Chad and Jacob stared at each other for a moment before they both went all, “Owwwhhhh so you’re the guy!“.

I was shocked, and quite frankly, a little upset. Now I’ll never be allowed to date Jacob.

Tammy found out that Jacob used to like me and would ever so often jokingly tell him to back off every time he started being even a little flirty with me. Perhaps it only came naturally considering how I would still feel that same attraction I had for him. He would still kiss me on the forehead every time we hugged our goodbyes and I’ll notice how Tammy’s expression would change. I swear I did not do it on purpose, it was not even something I could control!

 

 

2 DAYS BACK

I have not seen the both of them in at least a year now. I bumped into Jacob (without Tammy) at my usual joint on a Monday night. It was the eve of a public holiday.

Phil had to leave to send his drunk girlfriend home but I still wanted to party.

Me: My friend is leaving. Can you send me back?
Jacob: Sure. I’m sending another 2 friends home, but don’t worry I’ll get you home safe.

I’ve partied with Jacob numerous times and I always got home untouched no matter how drunk I was so I figured it would be fine.

After one too many beers, champagnes and possibly some whiskey, I was smashed beyond believe. You see, I used to puke all over whenever I was a goner but these days I go into autopilot mode and no one would know I’m whacked. I won’t remember the night but would still go on drinking and dancing like everything was normal.

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To summarize the end of the night, I..

  • Lost my wallet
  • Do not remember how I got out of the club
  • Do not remember that I demanded for food and ate a shitload
  • Do not remember Christy calling like 10 times before I answered and told her everything was alright
  • Do not remember entering the car

All I knew was that I knocked out in the car, woke up and crawled onto the passenger seat after he sent his friends home.

I vaguely remember Jacob telling me that it was really late and that if its alright to sleep in his guestroom before I knocked out again.

I know I got out of the car but the next thing I knew, I was in a hotel room making out with him.

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In my intoxicated state, initially, it was like awesome, I have wanted this for so long! Then the guilt started kicking in while we were F-ing. I can’t deny how much I enjoyed it.

Him: Do you regret this?
Me: What’s there to regret, it’s already done.
Him: This is the first time I’ve cheated on Tammy and I don’t regret it. It’s something I have always wanted to do. Like a bucket list.
Me: Can’t deny that it’s very flattering to be on someone’s bucket list.
Him: I can still remember how we met, those shots.. the burger you had at Swensens. You crying in the car..

The sun was up by then and when we were finally done, it was already 10am. My black hole of a stomach was crying for food. I refused to head out to have breakfast so Jacob left to buy me food.

I woke up at around 1.30pm with a fabulous hangover and extreme disgust with myself. I wanted to call a cab but I had no idea where I was. So I called Jacob.

Jacob: I thought so you’ll be calling me right about now.
Me: Where are you?
Jacob: I’m on the way back with food.

He came back happy and chatty but all I did was stare at him with utter disgust. He realized the awkwardness while I demanded that no one should know about what happened, especially Tammy.

I had my breakfast and he sent me home soon after. Just as I was getting out of the car, he smiled and told me, “I’ll always remember it“. Ughh!!

 

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Yes, clearly we were both still attracted to one another, but the more I think about it, the more I don’t feel that I should be blamed. I did not ask to be checked into a hotel room. I did not give out any vibes that I was still interested in him.

When I told Christy about it, she went all, “OMG I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have left! There was no one there to take care of you. It’s all my fault!“. She thinks of it as a date rape. I would too if I wasn’t attracted to him! I could only tell her that I was nobody’s responsibility to be taken care of. I should have took better care of myself.

I could not decide if I was disgusted with myself for actually continuing the night just cause it was good or that I betrayed a friend whom although not that close, I’ve know for literally half my life or that I’m pissed with him for taking advantage of a pissed drunk girl.

But at the end of the day, there is no one to blame but myself. It all boils down to my inability to control my drinks and bad behavior.

If his girlfriend wasn’t Tammy, I would keep him around for sure. I have always said that after each session of bad sex, the next would always be awesome. I just did not expect it to be such a traumatizing experience.

I would never leave the club without Phil again. I have given his girlfriend strict instructions to never allow me to stay back no matter what I say; be it that I’m sober and still want to party or that I want to follow some super hot dude back.

If I wanted a guy, I’ll take down his number and deal with it when I’m sober. The only exclusion to this is if I have already slept with the dude previously or have been obsessing over him for a long enough time.

 

VERDICT: Control the drinks and never fully trust a guy. Ever