The Animals

Name: LEON
Origin: KL
Ethnicity: Chinese mixed European
Height: 5′8. Normal
First impression: Cute
Age: 3 years younger


I met Leon about 1.5 years ago through some party people and we hung out together a couple of times.

Stella was hitting on him the first time we met and Christy then had a thing with him soon after. When I say a thing, it meant a couple hours of fooling in the car after party hours. Nope, they did not F.

I always thought Leon was very decent and somewhat shy. I mean, I had to use the G-Line on him when I was trying to get him to make a move on Christy!

This is how the G-Line works;

Me: Are you gay?
Guy: No, I definitely am not.
Me: Riiiighhhtttt.. *rolls eyes*
Guy: I really am not!
Me: Prove it!

.. and get them to make a move on your friend. Or if it’s obvious that you’ve got your eyes on him, he would most definitely make a move on you. Or accuse him of being a piece of wood. Both works wonders, every. single. time!

Trust me 😉


Leon has always been just a friend to me and I thought nothing of him till about 3 months back when I was drunk out of my brains from too much champagne.

Leon appeared with a bunch of girls and somehow, my severely intoxicated brains suddenly decided he was cute and grabbed him.

Leon: Babe, I’m here with a girl.
Me: Do I look like I care? *laughs*
Leon: Well, she’s at the washroom but okayyy..

So we grinded and we danced and his girl came back.

I have close to no memory of this other than the brief moment Christy stepped into the VIP and looked like her eyes almost popped outta her skull when she saw Leon and I. Just to clarify, Christy is completely cool with it, but was rather in shock as to what was happening.

The next day, I texted Leon.

Me: Sorry I misbehaved. I remember I said something bout cock blocking you..
Leon: No worries my dear. You’re lucky I had a girl with me otherwise I would have misbehaved and you would have been the victim.
Me: I was told I was grinding you..
Leon: Oh yeah and I enjoyed it while my chic was at the washroom. I was grinding you too and man, you were a tease. Don’t worry I’ll get back at you next time.`

Oh flirty, I see? At that point, I have just gotten over KURT and was on zero dude supply. I definitely didn’t mind a new F. Sure Leon wasn’t quite my type but beggars ain’t choosers plus Leon lives nearby, is one of the CLEO’s Bachelors and pretty popular with the ladies. Nothing beats convenience.


Leon invited me out for drinks a couple of times but I declined. I always have a shit load of events to attend, so if a dude wants a date, he most certainly got to plan in advance. No, I’m not popular. I just have loads of friends who love to drink.

A week after the grinding incident was Tanya’s birthday. Tanya is the craziest woman I have ever met through my decade long partying lifestyle. Seriously, no girl has came close to her level of insanity and I love her.

Tanya invited Josh, Leon’s best friend to her party. Which also meant Leon was invited.

Me: I heard you’ll be making an appearance at XXX tomorrow?
Leon: What’s XXX?
Me: Tanya’s birthday. Saw your name on the list.
Leon: Ah right. Josh mentioned, guess he signed me up for it as well.
Me: I’ll see you tomorrow I guess. Come pick me up? I’m too lazy to drive.
Leon: Alright sure. Where are you partying tonight? Wanna come to XXX?
Me: I’ve got an event at XXX. Feel free to join me. Else I’ll see you tomorrow.



Leon picked Josh and I up and headed over to the party. The birthday girl was as usual in her crazy drunk state by the time we arrived. We stayed for a couple of drinks before we decided to head to another club.

I have this strange habit of not wanting to be by the side of my dates. Almost like I do not want to be seen with them. As soon as I see humans other than my date, I’d be talking to them instead. That also meant I spent the night mingling with his friends whom I just met and pretty much ignored him.

When the night ended, Leon sent me home.

Leon: Did you have fun?
Me: I always have fun!
Leon: What would be the ultimate end to your night?
Me: Hmmm..

Just then, the traffic light turned red and Leon turned over to kiss me.

Me: Not bad.. this little boy can kiss. Hey, wait.. You’re supposed to turn in there! 
Leon: Nope, you’re coming with me!
Me: Oh? I don’t get a say in this?
Leon: Nope.

We got back to his place and we F-ed. Leon is a pleaser and a pretty damn good F. Pretty decent size too for a half Chinese!

We spent the rest of the morning F-ing and talking and F-ing again till the sun came up, slept a little before he sent me home.



Leon: Where are you partying tonight? We are headed to XXX.. Come join us, bring your girlfriends along.

And before I could reply, Christy sent a screenshot of Leon inviting her – Tess and I will be at XXX tonight, wanna join?

Wow, seriously?! We just F-ed a couple hours ago and now you’re making plans for me? But okay, I’ve always said it’s a crime to say no to good sex so I’m all for it.

That night, I brought some of my girls to his usual joint. It’s a pretty new lounge/bar that served overpriced drinks and his friends were always with buckets of champagnes so my girls ain’t complaining. I was hiding away from my usual joint anyway. Kurt had been spotted roaming the areas I’m usually at and I was avoiding him at all cost.

As usual, I was doing my own thing while Leon was seen picking up chics.

Christy: Why would you still wanna F him? He’s sucha douche..
Me: If no one wants him, why would I? I honestly don’t care, if anything, it makes me want him more.

Yes, I’m sick in the head like that. The more the dude is surrounded by chics, the more I am attracted to him. Weird.

We F-ed that night.. and the next.



The next weekend he was off to China for a family vacation. His mum was in town and he wouldn’t bring girls home. We ended up F-ing in Josh’s porch and hall while Josh was passed out in his room upstairs.

Leon: Are you going to XXX tomorrow? I’m flying off but Josh will be there, if you want you girls can join them.
Me: Most likely. I’ll give him a call then.

I honestly find hanging out with my F’s friends without my F to be rather weird but they’re pretty cool so I was alright with it. Free champagne doesn’t hurt either.

.. and so I spent the next week partying with his friends while Leon was away in China. He’d occasionally text to see if I was alright, just to catch up.



Leon: Just got out of the airport. Can’t find my suitcase.. yada yada yada.. what are your plans for tonight?
Me: Nothing much. What have you got in mind?
Leon: You wanna meet after dinner or a little later?
Me: Not too late, you’d be drained of energy!
Leon: Cool, we’ll meet Josh at 10pm. Bring your girls if they wanna drink.

So yeah, we F-ed that night. And we continued to F that weekend. And the next. For the rest of the month.


It came to a point where I felt bored at the mere mention of his name. How could I possibly feel that when the sex was mind blowing initially? And so I stopped. I did after all spend the entire month F-ing just him. I needed my variation.

But because I had became friends with his friends, and my girls with his boys, we still continued to hang out.

One of my girlfriends, Val even hooked up with Josh.



Val was blacked out drunk and naturally followed Josh home. I was done for the night after all the champagne. Truth be told, at this point, I can’t even recall how I got home that night.

The next day Val texted and asked if I noticed anything off about the night. All she remember was that she went back to Josh’s place and he was no where to be seen. The next thing she knew, Leon was on top of her, she pushed him away and ran off to puke.

When Val told Josh what happened, Josh didn’t bat a lash and changed the subject.

I texted Leon;

Me: I heard you were hitting on my friend?
Leon: No such thing. Probably too drunk.

Val couldn’t confirm what happened so I let it slide.

A week later, I was out drinking on a weekday when Leon booty called. It’s been awhile, I was bored and didn’t mind F-ing. He offered to come pick me up from town so I figured why not?

When we were done F-ing, Leon told me about that night. The night Val was blacked out drunk.

Leon: I F-ed her. She probably doesn’t even remember it.
Me: WTF?! That’s rape!
Leon: She didn’t say no. And she didn’t really look that drunk.
Me: Yeah well, she puked. You think?!

I was truly, utterly disgusted with Leon. Yes, I’m totally cool if my F-Bud F’s half the town, but only if it’s consensual. One should never take advantage of drunk girls.

I made up my mind that I was done with him but I couldn’t decide if I should tell Val.



Val asked to hang out with them. I kinda get a feeling that she had developed some feelings for Josh. I brought my freshly single girlfriend out with me that night.

Kurt came to see me. Yeah, Kurt. I decided my feelings for him were part of the past and made peace with him. We are purely friends now and we don’t even text anymore.

By the end of the night, my newly single girlfriend and I were highly intoxicated when she came up to me;

GF: Babe, you wouldn’t mind if I go with him?
Me: Go for it, he’s all yours. 
GF: Yeah, but you’re more important to me.
Me: Don’t worry. You can have Leon, but not Kurt. Leon’s a pretty good F. You’ll have fun!

.. and then Leon pulled me away

Leon: Babe, you know you’ll always come first..
Me: Geezz.. just go for it. I don’t freaking care!



I texted my girlfriend to see if she was alright. Those boys can’t be trusted. I’ve heard too many stories from Leon to not be worried.

Me: Are you OK? Did you have fun?
GF: Yea.. yada yada yada.. Oh did I tell you? I was F-ing Leon and Josh walked into the room and wanted to join in..
Me: WTF?! and..??
GF: I screamed at him till Leon told him not to come in anymore.
Me: Was he wearing clothes?
GF: First time yes. Second time he was naked. And I was naked!
Me: Seriously?!!
GF: Why didn’t you tell me that they were like that?
Me: I wouldn’t think that Leon would bring you back to Josh’s.


And that was it. I told Val what happened with Leon and decided that none of my girlfriends should go near that bunch of freaks again.

Another girlfriend of mine told me that Josh took her out for drinks and instead of sending her home, he took her back to his place, and demanded she get out of the car when she refused to. She threw a fuss till he gave up and sent her home.


It’s funny how Josh never tried anything funny with me and Leon had always respected my every request. Josh probably thinks I would slice his D if he tried anything given that I could sometimes be a raging psycho drunk bitch. Or that the entire KL would know of their antics given how I freely talk about my F’s. Then again, I’m never too drunk whenever I wanted to F.

I had this conversation with Christy and we both agreed that things like this happens to girls who cannot take care of themselves. Douchebags like them would only take advantage because they know that these girls will never speak of such incidents again. Val doesn’t want anyone to know of it.

It happened to me once with JACOB and I never spoke of it because of his girlfriend. The entire KL would have known what happened if it wasn’t for her. Ever since then, I never fully trusted a guy.

I’ve been telling my girlfriends to follow this set of rules;

  1. Don’t drive if you’re planning to drink a lot. It’s just F-ing dangerous.
  2. If you’re too drunk, go home with another girl or get an Uber.
  3. Never ever follow a guy’s car unless you’re alright if something were to happen.
  4. Don’t get too drunk if you wanna F. It’s never safe.

And guys, just keep it in unless its consented. It’s not a trophy if you banged her when her mind is not present.

Leon tried booty calling me 3 times in the past 2 weeks. I ignored his advances. I am not mad that he F-ed my friends. I am mad that he took advantage of them and that is totally not cool.


VERDICT: If women deserve getting raped because they were dressed inappropriately or were too drunk, does that mean we can smash your face cause we find it ugly or slice your D cause we did not want to see it or have it in us?


The Virgin

Two weeks back, Christy turned up at our usual joint with the whole crew from her sister’s wedding. Her sister’s hubs, although not that great looking, oozes sex appeal.

I was then introduced to his little brother.

Name: TODD
Origin: KL
Ethnicity: British-Chinese
Height: 5″10. Lean and VERY muscular
First impression: Bad boy
Age: 4 years younger

Todd had his brother’s features but was way better looking. He had this mysterious bad boy vibe going on with hair covering half his face and all the way down to his ass. And his body.. Oh. My. God!! He looked like he was made of pure muscles!

Christy: Come meet my brother in law! He’s very shy, doesn’t talk much but is really good looking.. look! *puts my hands on his chest and abs*
Me: Fine, fine. I will after a couple of shots.

When I finally decided to chat him up, Todd was really uptight, replying only with one liners.

Christy: You should try him out! I think he’s really good looking.
Me: He doesn’t even talk!!
Christy: Isn’t that a challenge?
Me: Bring it on! I get a burger if I get him.
Christy: You’ll have to sleep with him for that burger! He’s seriously very shy though. I’ve never seen him talking to a girl! EVER!

After a few more attempts, I dragged Christy up to Todd.

Me: Is he gay?
Christy: I don’t know. Are you?
Todd: No I definitely am not!

The ‘are you gay’ line had always been my last resort.. and it works every single time! If the guy is cold to you, accuse him of being gay and WALLA! Next thing you know, you’d have his tongue down your throat!

.. and that’s exactly what happened with Todd. I’d give a better description of how I ended up making out with him all night but I have no F-ing clue! He did however manage to pull off the whole rough making out and I was convinced he’d be a good F.

I’d estimate that we made out for a good 3 hours and when the night ended, I told the shy boy;

Me: I’m gonna F you tonight.
Him: No babe, not tonight.

Fine. We exchanged numbers and parted ways.

When I woke up the next day to a massive hangover, I called Christy.

Me: Babe!! WTF happened? How did I end up making out with him?
Her: I’ve no idea, I was so F-ing wasted!
Me: Yeah, you made out with him too! I totally freaked out!!
Her: Don’t be so dramatic! Please, please do not bring that up again, it’s just another kiss, with another guy from another club on another week!
Me: Riggggghhhtt!! You should have seen it from my eyes babeee!! You came to us while we were making out, said you wanted a threesome and kissed him! I was like uhhh.. babe that’s your brother in law!!
Her: But really, you guys making you is a pretty big deal. I really have never seen him talking to a girl. Did he text you?

Oh no he didn’t! That kid doesn’t get to make out with me all night with no follow up so I texted him;

Me: Hey Todd! Tess here. Did you get home safe?
Him: Who’s the F is this?
Me: Is this Todd?
Him: No
Me: Ok, sorry!
Him: Nah just messing. I’m alright!
Me: Text me on Whatsapp!

So I found out from Christy that Todd is not on Facebook and does not use Whatsapp. Weird. But 2 days later when I have totally forgotten bout his existence, Todd texted me on Whatsapp! Christy, her sis and her hubs were totally amazed!

Come weekend, after the night of my epic switch, I texted Todd in the evening. Read about The Epic Switch HERE.

Me: Hey what you up to tonight?
Him: Nothing, what do you have in mind?
Me: More like where do you have in mind?

We settled for a budget hotel nearby at 11pm that night.

Todd turned up drunk!

He couldn’t walk a straight line, pushed me on the bed, made out, went down on me, ripped my bra apart.. Yes, he tore my bra. He’s lucky I wore an old one that day or I would have screamed at him.. and the best thing happened.


He freaked out, going all, “No F-ing way, not today of all times.. and here I am thinking it was going to be awesome!” then locked himself in the bathroom for a good 45 minutes trying to get it up.


I on the other hand couldn’t believe what was happening. I know about how it is when a guy can’t get it up. I had 2 ex-boyfriends who were like that and as soon as they got into the “F, not right now” mode, there’s no way in hell it’s waking up, especially not when you’re drunk!

So as I lay on the bed while he desperately wanked off in the bathroom, I decided that he is after all Christy’s family and I should not be an ass to him. Under normal circumstances I would have dressed up, knocked on the door to tell him I’m leaving.

But I dragged him out, and chatted with him for almost 2 hours till my tummy started rumbling and I decided to head to my usual joint to look for Phil who told me that Aaron was there making out with some chic. Read about Aaron PART 1 and PART 2.

Me: I’m headed to the club. You could come if you want to, either way, I’m going.
Him: You sure you want me to come?
Me: Yeah. We could have some beers and you can be there with me to annoy someone.

Sure, he couldn’t F. But he was still a F-ing good sight for sore eyes! I felt content just looking at him and the thought that I could have F-ed something that hot had my ego shooting out of the roof!

At the club, Aaron’s friends broke into a fight with Phil and some guys at the next table. Phil and Aaron were talking and when Aaron saw me, he screamed, “YOU!! I F-ING HATE YOU!! YOU AND I, WE TALK LATER!”

I drunk texted Aaron the night before..

Me: Where are you?!
Him: I can’t come I’m wasted! *sends image of blowjobs shots*
Me: You were wasted two hours ago. COME!
Him: My brother is driving and he is sending me home.
Me: Tell him that if he doesn’t turn up, I’ll never bring you guys in for free again.
Him: Really? Fine!
Me: BYE!

Yup. I pissed the hell outta Aaron the night before with my drunk texts but as soon as Aaron laid eyes on Todd, he came to me and hugged me real tight while planting kisses on my cheeks;

Aaron: How are you? Is that your new guy?
Me: *Smiles and pats Todd on his muscular chest*

TESS – 1


And when Todd left for the washroom, Aaron came up to me again..

Aaron: How are you babe? Apart from the texts last night, I F-ing miss you! *tries to kiss me*
Me: Stop it! He’ll be back soon!
Aaron: We’re leaving now. You can come over later if you want. We’ll all be at my place.
Me: Dude, I’ve got a guy to deal with..
Aaron: That guy? Yeah, I’ve a girlfriend thing going on as well, did I tell you?
Me: Yes. So we are not gonna F anymore!
Aaron: No, we can. I still want to!
Me: No, I don’t want to. We are not F-ing anymore.
Aaron: Ok but that’s you. I still want to F you! *tries to kiss me again*
Me: Behave yourself! Go home!

By the time Todd came back, I was in the shittiest mood ever. I looked at him, rubbed him down on his chest and abs, and I still felt nothing! Good Lord, even a sack of muscles couldn’t pull me out of the rut Aaron had put me in.

Fast forward, Todd got drunk on 4 beers, I had to drag his ass into the cab and he was dead to the world as soon as he landed on the bed. When we woke up, I was hungry and we left soon after with him still moping bout his failed erection.

Although I didn’t get laid, the weekend was just epic! Todd couldn’t F but I sure was proud as hell parading him around the club as my trophy boy!

3 days later as I was chatting with Christy, she left me a voice note;

Her: OMG OMG I wanted to tell you but I totally forgot. My sister told me this. Todd.. is.. a.. virgin!
Her: Todd told his brother bout it. They picked him up in the morning after you left and he was really down. Apparently that night he announced to his family that he was going on a date when he went out to meet you.
Me: This can’t be real man! I almost F-ed a virgin? IT’S A BOOTY CALL NOT A DATE!
Her: Yes. I’m kinda glad you didn’t take his virginity away. He’s a very quiet guy. I heard that during the wedding his parents actually took photos when they saw him talking to his brother’s friends!

Oh wow! I may have turned into a cougar, but I ain’t no virginity thief! How could I have missed all the signs?!

Imagine if he had actually gotten it up, I’m pretty sure he would have had a pretty good first F. I give pretty damn good instructions! But on the hindsight, I’m glad it didn’t happen.

As much as I’m sure guys just wants to get rid of their virginity as opposed to girls saving it for The One, I’m sure there’s a better way for him to lose his than to someone 4 years older than him who’s only interested in his muscles at a budget hotel on a booty call.

VERDICT: Again, never judge a book by it’s cover. The bad boys might just turn out to be a virgin!

The Betrayal

Origin: KL
Ethnicity: Eurasian-Chinese
Height: 5″10. VERY normal.
First impression: Good looking, charming
Age: 1 year older

I sold test tube Vodka shots in the club when I was 22 to survive through college and on one of those nights, I met Jacob.

We did not accept credit cards for the shots I sold and I literally emptied the cash in his wallet selling him shots, leaving him just enough to pay for his parking ticket.

He wanted my digits but I refused. “Come back next week. One shot for each digit to my number“. That would be 10 shots that summed up to MYR150.


By the next weekend, I have totally forgotten about him. I have used that line on numerous guys who would have somehow bought those shots in the same night (and I’d give them my spare number which I registered for this purpose only) or I would just outright tell them that if I gave my number to every guy who asked for it, I’d be a very busy girl.

I went about my night and when I went to the lounge area outside the club, Jacob was seated with two friends. He bought the 10 shots, drank them and left soon after. I was impressed. He earned my real digits.

Jacob would call me every now and then and we would be chatting for hours over the phone. I didn’t believe in going out with guys whom I met while working at the club but Jacob had his charms.

Some weeks later, I finally went out him for a casual dinner at Swensens. With my black hole of a stomach and crazy appetite, I devoured my giant cheese burger like I’ve not eaten in days. I wanted to drink and we headed to a nearby club for some Vodka cranberry.

Being the emotional drunk that I was back then, I started sobbing like a retard as the night ended. I wasn’t over Sid and it became a routine to weep over it everytime I was intoxicated. Read about Sid HERE.

He put on some sappy love songs, held my hand and comforted me in the car for the longest time but that was it. He never made a move on me.


We went out a couple more times through the months up to the point where I met Chad. Read about Chad HERE.

I started dating Chad soon after and Jacob was pissed.

Jacob: What does he have that I don’t?
Me: I don’t know.
Jacob: I’m better looking than he is. I’m richer than he is. So why him?
Me: Sigh. Get in line?

I was annoyed. Although I liked Jacob a whole lot, he never really made a real move. And with him going on business trips for long periods of time frequently, I obviously found a new interest.

Over the years we would bump into each other at the clubs or through mutual friends. Jacob would call to check in on me every now and then but Chad wasn’t happy with it so I stopped talking to him unless I happen to see him outside.



I was at a bar that belonged to a girlfriend, Tammy along with Chad. Tammy is one of the only highschool friends whom I managed to keep in touch with. We were really close back in school but pretty much lost touch when she left for another school at 15. We bumped into each other pretty often when we were both partying rampantly at 22 and when we do actually manage to schedule a night out, it’s almost like we never really lost touch.

It was then that Tammy introduced her new boyfriend, Jacob. Chad and Jacob stared at each other for a moment before they both went all, “Owwwhhhh so you’re the guy!“.

I was shocked, and quite frankly, a little upset. Now I’ll never be allowed to date Jacob.

Tammy found out that Jacob used to like me and would ever so often jokingly tell him to back off every time he started being even a little flirty with me. Perhaps it only came naturally considering how I would still feel that same attraction I had for him. He would still kiss me on the forehead every time we hugged our goodbyes and I’ll notice how Tammy’s expression would change. I swear I did not do it on purpose, it was not even something I could control!




I have not seen the both of them in at least a year now. I bumped into Jacob (without Tammy) at my usual joint on a Monday night. It was the eve of a public holiday.

Phil had to leave to send his drunk girlfriend home but I still wanted to party.

Me: My friend is leaving. Can you send me back?
Jacob: Sure. I’m sending another 2 friends home, but don’t worry I’ll get you home safe.

I’ve partied with Jacob numerous times and I always got home untouched no matter how drunk I was so I figured it would be fine.

After one too many beers, champagnes and possibly some whiskey, I was smashed beyond believe. You see, I used to puke all over whenever I was a goner but these days I go into autopilot mode and no one would know I’m whacked. I won’t remember the night but would still go on drinking and dancing like everything was normal.


To summarize the end of the night, I..

  • Lost my wallet
  • Do not remember how I got out of the club
  • Do not remember that I demanded for food and ate a shitload
  • Do not remember Christy calling like 10 times before I answered and told her everything was alright
  • Do not remember entering the car

All I knew was that I knocked out in the car, woke up and crawled onto the passenger seat after he sent his friends home.

I vaguely remember Jacob telling me that it was really late and that if its alright to sleep in his guestroom before I knocked out again.

I know I got out of the car but the next thing I knew, I was in a hotel room making out with him.


In my intoxicated state, initially, it was like awesome, I have wanted this for so long! Then the guilt started kicking in while we were F-ing. I can’t deny how much I enjoyed it.

Him: Do you regret this?
Me: What’s there to regret, it’s already done.
Him: This is the first time I’ve cheated on Tammy and I don’t regret it. It’s something I have always wanted to do. Like a bucket list.
Me: Can’t deny that it’s very flattering to be on someone’s bucket list.
Him: I can still remember how we met, those shots.. the burger you had at Swensens. You crying in the car..

The sun was up by then and when we were finally done, it was already 10am. My black hole of a stomach was crying for food. I refused to head out to have breakfast so Jacob left to buy me food.

I woke up at around 1.30pm with a fabulous hangover and extreme disgust with myself. I wanted to call a cab but I had no idea where I was. So I called Jacob.

Jacob: I thought so you’ll be calling me right about now.
Me: Where are you?
Jacob: I’m on the way back with food.

He came back happy and chatty but all I did was stare at him with utter disgust. He realized the awkwardness while I demanded that no one should know about what happened, especially Tammy.

I had my breakfast and he sent me home soon after. Just as I was getting out of the car, he smiled and told me, “I’ll always remember it“. Ughh!!



Yes, clearly we were both still attracted to one another, but the more I think about it, the more I don’t feel that I should be blamed. I did not ask to be checked into a hotel room. I did not give out any vibes that I was still interested in him.

When I told Christy about it, she went all, “OMG I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have left! There was no one there to take care of you. It’s all my fault!“. She thinks of it as a date rape. I would too if I wasn’t attracted to him! I could only tell her that I was nobody’s responsibility to be taken care of. I should have took better care of myself.

I could not decide if I was disgusted with myself for actually continuing the night just cause it was good or that I betrayed a friend whom although not that close, I’ve know for literally half my life or that I’m pissed with him for taking advantage of a pissed drunk girl.

But at the end of the day, there is no one to blame but myself. It all boils down to my inability to control my drinks and bad behavior.

If his girlfriend wasn’t Tammy, I would keep him around for sure. I have always said that after each session of bad sex, the next would always be awesome. I just did not expect it to be such a traumatizing experience.

I would never leave the club without Phil again. I have given his girlfriend strict instructions to never allow me to stay back no matter what I say; be it that I’m sober and still want to party or that I want to follow some super hot dude back.

If I wanted a guy, I’ll take down his number and deal with it when I’m sober. The only exclusion to this is if I have already slept with the dude previously or have been obsessing over him for a long enough time.


VERDICT: Control the drinks and never fully trust a guy. Ever

The Almost Fiance

As I sit in front of my PC on a Saturday night nursing my almost-recovered tonsillitis (which I inherited from partying one too many nights a week), I ponder on what my next entry should be.

I shall not rant about how much I’m crying inside for having to cancel on my booty call with Sean, whom I am determined to turn into my F-Bud and my date with Felipe (Read about Sean and Felipe HERE) cause I simply can’t talk or eat (I lost 6 kgs in 2 weeks from not being able to consume any solids!). I kept repeating to my friends that I rather just die than to be without my bare necessities; Food, alcohol and sex.

So anyways, I decided to post the obligatory Chad entry. If you have been reading this blog, you’d see his name scattered randomly in every other post. This post might also shed some light on why I ain’t fit for a relationship.

Name: CHAD
Origin: KL
Ethnicity: Eurasian-Chinese
Height: 5″11. Normal
First impression: Mr Nice Guy
Age: 2 years older

Back in 2008, I was working as a shooter girl in clubs to survive through college. It was just really diluted alcohol in test tubes that were rip offs. All I had to do was sell these blood sucking shots to drunk idiots.

Something like that..

Something like that..

I met Chad 3 days right after I broke up with Leo (Read a little about Leo HERE) through Derek, a regular at that club who was also pursuing me (but that’s an entirely different story altogether).

Initially, I thought of Chad as a rather dull, uninteresting and serious guy. As I got to know him better, he is really all that. He does not party much, can’t drink to save his life (like literally!) and took every thing about life a little too seriously. But Chad was also kinda charming in his own geeky ways and definitely very intellectual. He was also somewhat sweet.

When my then-bestfriend, Chris (Read about Chris HERE) found out that Chad was pursuing me, he told me to give it a try.

Chris: Think about it, all your ex-boyfriends are assholes. Chad is the total opposite of everyone of them. It might turn out well!
Me: Seriously? It does sound kinda awesome. I party, he stay home.

I started dating Chad soon after.

But unlike Leo who controlled everything about me, Chad did not give two hoots about anything I did at all. It really was the total opposite and I could not get used to it.

Soon I found myself constantly fighting for his attention. But Chad always wanted me-time. Like, a lot of me time.


He only wanted to see me over the weekends, and I partied on weekends. Eventually, I only got to see him for lunch and movies on Sundays and that was it.

I started straying, though at that age, straying only meant making out drunk. I began drunkenly crying and venting my frustrations to my friends every time I got drunk, which was every other night. He just did not care. It seems like he did not want to be part of my life.

6 months in, I decided that the insanity had to stop. It was either I make the relationship work or end my misery. I decided to give it my all. Because he was such a responsible man, I could see him as a husband. But that was the problem. Chad would make a perfect husband but a rather dull boyfriend.

I stopped partying a 100% just so I could spend the entire weekend with Chad. I avoided alcohol and clubs even on weekdays so I would not have the chance to stray. I became his perfect girlfriend.

Chad started opening up to me more. He was loving when he was around, but when he wasn’t, it was like, ‘out of sight, out of mind‘. I would not hear from him all week till the weekend. He was insensitive and he kept everything to himself. He was also full of confidence that I would not leave him no matter how much he neglects me.

1.5 years into the relationship, he wanted out all of a sudden upon returning from a business trip in Korea. He never admitted it till this day, but I’m sure something happened in Korea. He couldn’t even look me in the eye or muster a reason. All he could say was, “I can’t see a future with you“. I cried and reasoned with him and after a day or two, he decided to give it another shot.

man woman hands holding broken heart

But that was how and when it all went downhill.

I could not make myself trust that he would not leave me for no valid reason again. I lost all respect for him. Gradually, I began partying again. Slowly but surely, I started straying continuously (and it definitely wasn’t just making out this time round!).

As much as I loved all the mushy relationship stuff like rolling in the sheets over the weekend, watching TV series together over a home cooked meal, cleaning the house together, I lost faith in the relationship. I could see how much he tried to make up for what he did but things just weren’t the same anymore.

By the third year, it no longer bothered me that he did not want to go out with me or party, to make an effort to get to know my friends better, I pretty much avoided all his family functions, I was happy whenever he wasn’t around and the weekly meet up became a chore.

My friends laughed at how I’m supposedly in a relationship but my boyfriend was never to be seen out with me, be it a party, a get together with friends, work function or a wedding/birthday. Some friends even go, “You have a boyfriend?!! How come I never see you with him? I don’t even see him call you!” or “Are you sure you’re in a relationship? Are you sure you’re not in an open relationship?”

Initially it was embarrassing. Eventually, I’d just reply, “I’m in a relationship 3 days a week and I like it!

Then the roles reversed.

Him: Why don’t you text me when you get home after partying anymore? I don’t even know where you are all the time, I had to check Facebook to find out!
Me: I hardly see you or talk to you. It has came to a point where you are no longer at the back of my mind. I no longer miss you. Do you think I’d think of you when I get home drunk? I don’t think so..

4 years in, after I heard that Chad was planning on proposing, I told him that I could no longer do it. I didn’t want to torture the both of us and waste everybody’s time. He was sad, but he agreed. He knew that once I had my mind set on something, there was no turning back.

I’m sorry. I love you, but I’m no longer in love with you.

Some months later, I found out from his cousin and a few of his friends that Chad was planning on proposing to me the very next month if I had not end it. He had it planned for months.

Oh wells, I guess some things are just not meant to be.

Chad and I are still great friends. We hang out at least once a week, we still go to each other with our problems and occasionally we would party and hunt together. From the dull, uninteresting person he used to be, he has now evolved into a party animal, serial dater, is somewhat charming and very much promiscuous too!

When ever friends ask how we manage to continue being friends, we would always answer; We were best friends for 4 years when we were together. Just cause we can’t be together, it does not mean we can’t continue being best friends. We still love each other, just not that way.

Sometimes Chad would tell our friends that, “Tess is one person I could see myself still talking to when we are 70“, and our friends would go all, “Awww!“. That’s sweet but he should have thought of that when he decided to dump me out of the blue back then.

NOTE: There are a lot more good times than I gave credit for; we’d go on vacation every year, visit his hometown about 4 times in a year. He taught me to drive, helped out when my dad passed away. I confided in him way more than I did with anymore else ever (even after I started dating Luke). We practically grew up together in that 4 years.

VERDICT: Would I date another Eurasian man? No. They are way too full of themselves.