The Fat Man: Part II

I cannot believe I’m writing another post on LUCAS but I feel its essential to the following posts that I plan to write.

So anyways. After a full week of complete silence, I was in his neighborhood and figured it didn’t hurt to text Lucas.

Me: Hey how you doing? I was having pizza at XXX and thought of you!
*silence*
Me: *after 3 hours* Ignoring me huh? Didn’t think we stopped texting on bad terms. Take care then.
Lucas: Hey not ignoring you.. Just finished set up for an event *yada yada yada work work work* Wish you a good night.

I tried making conversation the day after but was replied with silence so I sent a long text stating that if I said anything that might have offended him, I sincerely apologize (I accidentally called him fat many times – and I know some people can be real sensitive). That even if I couldn’t keep him as a friend, I didn’t want an enemy. After 24 hours, he replied;

Lucas: Hey sorry, I had just a very crazy week. You didn’t say anything wrong I am just very work focused and don’t text very often when I am under pressure. I think I mentioned a lot that I am a workaholic and that’s the down side of it. You haven’t lost a friend, I am just very crazy busy.

I got so pissed off I had to lash out!

Me: FYI your reason is too cliche. You’re failing at attempting to be Mr Nice Guy. The next girl you decide to get too busy for, tell her something like I got bored of your face. It sounds like an asshole, but much more genuine 😉

So I indirectly called him out on his bullshit and an asshole. That was that. I was satisfied.

As much as I was upset, I was forgetting him as the days went by. When Saturday rolled along, I headed to a party where Stella had a DJ gig.

Lo and behold – Lucas’ company was the main organizer. So much awkwardness especially when I knew he saw me and we stood less than 10 steps away from him the entire night! By the end of the night however, we accidentally locked eyes and it would be childish of me to not say hi.

I texted him when I got home informing that I eventually found my car. He replies were outright cold.

I was furious! How dare this fat man treat me like I’m irrelevant. My ego was hurt. I was enraged. I refused to accept defeat.

Me: If I suck that bad at dating, and excel at hookups, then I’m gonna do what I’m best at.
KURT: Stop being pathetic. Move on. He doesn’t deserve any more attention!
Me: I’m doing it! If it’s bad, I’ll definitely forget him immediately. If it’s good, well, good!

I know it’s ridiculous to reward bad behavior with sex but there seemed to be no other way for me to forget this dude.

A couple of days after the weekend, I texted Lucas yet again (Yes, so desperate persistent!)

Me: Hey busy man how are you? I miss talking to you. Feels like I lost my texting buddy!
Him: Hey I am not very well, down with the flu since Sunday. How are you?
Me: Oh no worked too hard? I’m happy! Just closed a sale. Did you take some days off work?
Him: Oh congratulations, very happy for you. No I can’t take off having a few important meetings but I’ll try to cut short the days.
Me: I also lost some fats from not pigging out all the time *sends photo of me pulling up my top, showing off my abs and in undies*
Him: Wow, what a pic ! really don’t know what fats you have but you are in amazing shape.
Me: Thank you! What I have is an intense craving for pizza. When can I buy u the pizza that I owe you?
Him: The best craving ever 🙂 Friday or I think Saturday should be fine but need to double check my calendar. Way less events due to Ramadan.

Not me, but you get the idea

Ha! Works EVERY. DAMN. TIME!

I truly believe men are visual creatures and thinks with their D’s.

By weekend,

Me: Hope you’re feeling better today?
Him: Not really but had to go out tonight. Feel like dying.
Me: Aww don’t die!! You still gotta cook me burger! Then after that, u can reconsider dying again 😂
Him: Haha ok I try to stay alive to make you the burger you will never forget.
Me: Why don’t u make that legendary burger this weekend instead of pizza? At the rate you’re going never know when you’d die 😉
Him: Well the craving for pizza is still there. Why I don’t make a home made pizza with the toppings according to your wishes?

Anddddd.. DONE! Booty call is served!

When I got to his place that weekend, Lucas had candles lit, low lights, slow music playing and prepared a ton of food with cheese as the main ingredient. The food was F-ing fantastic!

Dinner, drinks, watched a movie while chatting for 4 hours and eventually we obviously did the deed.

Oh. My. F-ing. Glorious. Lord!! Lucas is amaaaazzinnngggg!! I have no words to describe what an amazing kisser he is. How he can be so dominant, yet submissive. A pleaser who’d go above and beyond. Our chemistry was off the charts!

Him: Wow! I didn’t think you’d be so much fun!
Me: Whaaaa? Did you think I was gonna be boring?
Him: No, not boring. Just not this much fun!
Me: I was toning it down. Still am or you’d think I’m mad.

We F-ed 6 times that night over the course of 5 hours. Surprisingly his belly wasn’t an issue at all!

Woke up, made breakfast and F-ed twice before I left.

Lucas wasn’t in town the entire week but we made plans to meet again that weekend.

But when I got there, Lucas was sick out of his brains, hungover from the night before and pretty much looked like a zombie. But I thought it was really sweet of him to make the ham and goat cheese bruschetta with honey that I absolutely loved, and stocked up on Coke and my cigarettes for me. He was about to cook burger but I took pity on the poor sick dude and let him off the hook.

We watched a movie and F-ed once that night before he almost coughed his lungs out and passed out. Woke up to very yummy breakfast – Omelette with ham and cheese with a side of toast, and more cheese!

Then he went silent after I left. What is his freaking problem?

Me: I feel the need to get this off my mind. Right now, what I want is nothing more than regular sex and a companion I feel comfortable with and respect. And I’m saying this because it seems to me you withdraw after sex like you’re afraid I’d want more from you. I’m just saying that because I guess not everyone wants more. N I definitely do not, hence being single this long.
Him: Appreciate that you are being straight forward. Yes I am looking for the same, I am not ready to go into any commitment at the moment. But I didn’t not reply because of that it’s just because of work.
Me: Honestly I hardly get laid cause I get bored of  F-Buds way too fast having nothing in common, but at the same time I can’t mentally commit to anything. So figured since I enjoy hanging around you, I’d keep you around 😉 Sounds like a plan?
Him: *AFTER 30 F-ING HOURS* Yes sound like a plan.

Are you kidding me now? No one can possibly be THAT busy to not be able to reply something that simple for 30 freaking hours. After a few nasty exchange of texts, it ended with –

Him: I just don’t want any drama. We both know what we want from each other so let’s keep it simple. I am now in a very busy period. So please understand if you don’t hear much from me.

Okay, Fat Man! If all I wanted were some wham-bam-thank you-fag, I could do way wayyyy better.

VERDICT: Looks don’t matter. All men are assholes until proven otherwise.

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