Have I ever whined about how much of a love-hate relationship I have with random hook ups?
Wake up with a whole load of negative emotions; anger, disappointment, disgust.. And worst of all, I’d yearn for more. I’d want to be F-ed by a real man.
That post coitus glow with that dorky smile plastered on my face all day. Except, I’d also be sad and disappointed for I’d most likely never see him again.
I know a couple of posts back I said I’d never do another drunken hook up but I reckon it’s kinda like waking up with a massive hangover and going all, “I’m never drinking again” and getting hammered the following weekend.
Couple of nights back, it was the eve of a public holiday. I was out in the club with an old friend, Carrie.
Three years younger than I am, Carrie used to be a model, event and pole dancer. She was way more promiscuous than I could ever be. I was in a 4 year relationship with LEO when we first met 9 years ago and more than anything, I craved her lifestyle.
I was envious of the endless tales of men and how she had multiple F-buds at her service while all I had was a boyfriend whom I did not even bother F-ing no more.
Two years back, Carrie got hitched wanting to start a family. She swore to be loyal and stopped modelling and dancing. Still, every now and then, Carrie would ask about my boys.
Carrie: You did what?!
Me: Hahaha I know right. Do you miss being single?
Carrie: I think about it sometimes. Of course I miss it.. but.. I chose this path..
Me: I wonder if I’ll ever get bored of this.
Carrie: Probably never.
So back in the club, there was this good looking, tall, buffed Middle Eastern dude standing right in front of our table at the VIP zone. The bouncers wanted him out but I told them he could stay. Obviously he started chatting me up right after, thanking and offering me drinks.
I did however got the whole group of his friends thrown out for being a pain in my ass. Literally. When his fat friend grabbed my ass, I wanted to punch him in the face but decided it would be way more embarassing for him to be kicked out by the security.
But I have this habit of ditching the men I picked up right after for the FOMO ( Fear Of Missing Out). Hey, I could always go back to him after if I dont find anything else worth my time right?
As the night went on, I spotted a group of white boys near by. I was pretty intoxicated by then.
White boy: Cheers!
Me: I like your stubbles *touches his beard*
White boy’s friend: Hi!
Height: 5’7. Normal
First impression: Cute
Age: No clue
So white boy’s friend, David came around and started chatting me up. Turns out he was studying in Singapore till December and was in KL for holidays.
I wish I could describe the night in greater detail but I was smashed.
I’d say David wasn’t usually my type. At all. But he was smooth and wasn’t the typical douche who would latch on to you and not let go. He played that fishing game well.
Or maybe I was extremely pissed that my super hot Tinder date bailed on me that night and I really, really wanted to get laid.
Either way, David convinced me to leave at around 3am.
David checked us in to a 4-star hotel downtown as he lived in that same dumbass hostel every other guy tried to take me back to. They did not allow extra guest.
David. Was. Absolutely. AMAZING!
Is there a better word for amazing? He was magnificent. Fantastic. Extraordinary. Marvelous. Incredible.
David didn’t have a massive P, in fact, it was average.
But what David had were magical hands that got me squirting over and over and over again! Out of my many F’s, only SEAN had ever managed to make me squirt.
I swear I have never screamed that much, or that loud in bed ever!
The bed was soaked and David showed no mercy. He just kept going at it. I had no idea I was able to squirt continuously. It was insane!
Me: Did you just figure that out or do you know what you’re doing?
Him: I know what I’m doing *looking ridiculously confident as he went on to make me squirt again*
We F-ed and he F-ed me real good! He did it so effortlessly, I was in pure ecstasy.
When we were finally done at about a little after 5am, David had to leave. He was holding the room keys to the hostel he was sharing with his friends.
Him: I gotta go. You can stay. Its all paid for. You just need to check out in the morning.
Me: Really? Will I see you again? I want your number!
Him: Maybe.. *keys in his number*
Woke up feeling happily sore, on those mad fluffy pillows. Had the best after party shower of my life and Lucca came to take me out for lunch.
This was a case of the latter. The perfect hook up.
The only glitch was that the reception initially wanted me to pay the MYR 548 for the night when I checked out though they had already swiped his card for the MYR 700 deposit. I threw a fuss and they eventually manually charged the night to his card.
It was the GOOD F. I’m still hungover that there is a 99.8% possibility that I would never get to see David again.
Carrie: Did you have a good night?
Me: Definitely! He was amazing! I still want more.
Carrie: Good for you!
Me: I’m jealous you get to have regular sex.
Carrie: Frequency vs Variety. You choose.
That is.. The hardest question. Ever.
Which would you choose? Regular, repetitive F’s *yawn* vs a whole lot of spiced up, full on passionate, raw sex with a whole variation of hunks.
Like sex education, colleges should start a class for men on how to please their women. A whole chapter on squirting. There are articles on it after all, so why aren’t all men masters at it already?
VERDICT: I heard Spaniards are awesome in the sack. PABLO definitely was and David had definitely made his people proud. He sure made it into the Top 5 most memorable F’s.