Origin: KL, Malaysia
Height: 5″4. Tiny
First impression: Geeky
Age: My age
I was 15 when I had my first high school puppy love. Scott was and still is the sweetest guy I’ve ever dated. We were in the same class, hung out on a daily basis after school. He would walk 15 minutes to my place every weekend and to head to the malls and just did everything young couples would. Every month we would have our ‘monthsary’ and celebrated by skipping school. We even made out at the back of the class while lessons were on going.
After 6 long months of dating, I was dying of curiosity – What does sex feels like? After all, we have already experimented with everything else, made out for hours till it became numb and boring. To a point where all it felt like to me was flicking my tongue in and out of his mouth. I wanted to feel more. The poor boy even asked, “Don’t you enjoy making out with me anymore?“. My head was screaming, “Man up and make a move already!”
A week before my 15th birthday, being home alone. We finally did the deed.
The verdict? I felt sex was wayyyy overrated. Uninteresting. Too hyped up by Hollywood and nothing to rave about. All I thought was, “Is that it?”
One would imagine the girl crying and possibly begging to guy to marry her after sex in some crazily dramatic soap opera but hell no! Scott sat himself at the corner of the bed and started sobbing uncontrollably. I stared at him in disbelief. Like, seriously? We had sex and now you’re telling me that you took my virginity and wanna be responsible for it? And, and.. wait for it… MARRY ME?!
Holy moly take a chill pill, baby! We were only 15! After at least an hour, I managed to calm him down. We continued sleeping together through the months but it never excited me.
We dated for another year before I felt completely suffocated. He didn’t want me going out with my friends or talking to any other guys. He didn’t get along with any of my friends. He always wanted alone time with me. I was plain bored outta my skull and I was young. I wanted to explore my options.
Scott is now happily married with an adorable 5 year old daughter. I’m so happy for him. I still bump into him from time to time and laugh about how I cannot believe he is now a father. He even invited me to his wedding!
VERDICT: Too young, too nice.
Fast forward to my last encounter with a Chinese man.
Origin: KL, Malaysia
Height: 5″9. Toned
First impression: Oozed confidence, charming and stylish
Age: 9 years older
12 years later, Luke and I were friends who were very much attracted to one another. The sexual tension was unmistakable each time we met. I went from being one of the guys during boys night out to having a no strings attached relationship but somehow got sucked into being in one knowingly, though very much unwillingly.
Luke is an extremely passionate man when he chose to be. He was by far the most passionate man I have ever slept with, he had his way with me each and every time. He played all sorts of mind games that seriously messed with my sanity. I hated the ‘What ifs‘ he throws at me right after we had sex; “What if we dated, do you think it’ll work out?”, “What if we stopped seeing other another, would you miss me?”, “What if you fall for me? You already did, didn’t you?”.
6 months down the road, the sex eventually slowed down. He ended it because we disagreed on everything on all levels. Within 2 weeks, I started dating Wayne. A friend of a friend I met some years back during a BBQ pool party. Luke turned berserk and went on full force in pursuing me; sending really gorgeous bouquet of flowers, apology emails, self written poems.
Origin: KL, Malaysia
Height: 5″11. A little chubs
First impression: Rich spoilt brat
Age: 1 year younger
Things weren’t going too well with Wayne who I found rather clingy for my preference. He wanted to see me everyday, while I preferred to meet my guys every alternate day or 2-3 days. I love my alone time and time with my friends.
We had planned for a trip to Singapore along with my besties Jenna, her boyfriend, Kyle and Michelle a week after my birthday.
And that’s when disaster struck. I celebrated in a club the week before my birthday. Obviously Luke was invited and clearly I have not gotten over him. Long story short, I was way too intoxicated and kept running to Luke, only to have my friends drag me back to Wayne. I was literally crying and dancing the night away. I know, it’s hard to imagine. Worst birthday EVER!
The day before my birthday was hell. I was crying all day till it hurts. My eyes were swollen, I hid in my room.
Eventually I texted Luke stating that all I wanted for my birthday was to see him. He drove me over to his place before midnight, where he handed me a slice of chocolate cake (my favourite) and sang happy birthday. He poured his feelings out to me on why he refused to open up previously, how he mistreated me and how much he wanted to make it right.
He teared up, I cried. He stared at me longingly and finally we kissed. It was the most passionate kiss I have ever felt even till today. We made sweet, sweet love. Twice. OK, fine I don’t usually use the term ‘making love‘. It’s just too corny for my liking. I prefer the terms shagging, bonking, having sex, f*ck. You get my drift. Anyways, we stayed up all night talking till 9am and headed out for breakfast. The night was intense. My eyes were extremely puffy and they were so swollen it hurts.
I was to meet my friends for my birthday lunch but no one could reach me. My battery was flat. When Janice and Jenna finally managed to get hold of me and picked me up, they instantly knew what I was up to the entire night. Through my swollen eyes, they could see that happy glow. But they didn’t feel the same joy I felt. They hated his guts after having sat through hours of my insanity. They insisted that I avoided him till I got back from Singapore and gave myself a chance at real happiness with Wayne.
Obviously everyone knew I was sneaking off to meet Luke and by then I hardly contacted Wayne. I was dreading the thought of having to spend the weekend away from him in Singapore. Every meet up ended with a long, tight loving hug and intense kisses with him telling me how much he wanted me and how he doesn’t want to let go for he might never see me again.
In Singapore, Wayne and I ended it on the very first night. He knew. Spent the rest of the trip running off with Michelle and feeling rather awkward being around Wayne. Guilt maybe? I still don’t know.
NOTE: Everything involving Wayne happened within a month.
When I got back to KL, Luke picked me up from the airport. I was so happy to see him. I was love struck. A month or 2 flew by and I was happily in love. Though through the 1.5 years we dated, he never once told me he loved me.
But a month or 2 was just that. He reverted back to his selfish, demanding, grumpy ways that I could hardly tolerate. I stayed on holding to his empty promises that seemed so real, that perfect partner he could be if only I was more intellectual and took interest in his interest. Every time I attempted to leave, he would find a way to convince me to stay. More empty promises, more tears, more excuses. I’ve now decided that if I have to be in a relationship only to discuss politics and football, I rather not be in one.
As time went by, we met up for dinner just because we had to. We spoke awkwardly like strangers who had nothing in common. We had obligatory sex only 4 times that year, after which I did not even give him a chance to initiate those robotic 2 minute (or possibly less) sexual release that he had no interest in. I used to be one of the boys during their drinking nights but at that point I wasn’t even allowed to know where they were headed. We did not care for each other one bit.
I was lonely even when I was in a relationship and after many, many months of wallowing in self pity, having my confidence crushed, wondering if there was anything wrong with me sexually or intellectually, I bumped into an old flame, Xander.
Origin: KL, Malaysia
Height: 5″8. Lean
First impression: Mr Nice Guy
Age: My age
Xander. How he brought back so much memories. He was a classmate in elementary school and one of the most sought after cuties back then. I went on dates with Xander a couple of times right after Scott (He was the main option I was wanting to explore) but nothing blossomed from it. He was too shy then and still too shy 12 years later.
He had a girlfriend who was based in Singapore so all we did was hang out. Clearly we never forgot each other and the hanging out progressed into dinners and movies.
After 2 months, I gained the courage and confidence and told Luke to F-off. Literally. Thanks to Xander, I felt much less worthless. I was a mess for exactly ONE week. Crying, whining, bitching and miraculously on the 8th day, I woke up happy. I was over him.
As for Xander, we somehow drifted apart. Again. And within a month after I turned single, he disappeared from my life. Perhaps he’s my guardian angel sent from above to ease me out of my unhealthy relationships. LOL
From what I hear, Wayne is tying the knot this year while Luke is still F-ing around with various new fresh young blood. Talk about bad judgments.
VERDICT: I will never date another Chinese man.